it took constant communication

Alison: Talk about navigating the Covid-19 crisis and racial reckoning. How did you work with the players, the teams, and NBA management on that?

Chris: That could be a book in itself. Once again, it took constant communication. During the shutdown, I was on Zooms every day with Adam Silver and others trying to figure out how to get the season going again from scratch: where to play, what the locker rooms would look like, even the messaging on the court. The NBA has 450 players, including some of the most recognizable people in the world. They’re not always going to have the same beliefs or be on the same page. But everyone just wants to be able to have an opinion and be heard and taken seriously. That’s what we did through it all, and everything was voted upon. My leadership style was always to overcommunicate, let everybody share their insights, and then talk about where we wanted to go. After George Floyd, we went to the [biosecure] bubble to keep playing and tried to raise awareness. Then the Jacob Blake shooting [by police] happened. So we got all the players in a room and decided to stop games for a day. Usually in the NBA, after you play a game against someone, you say, “Hey man, everything good with you?” “Yeah, all good.” “All right, y’all have a good rest of the season.” But in the bubble we got a chance to really spend time together, look each other in the eyes, and figure out how we all could be better.

Alison Beard

Life's Work: An Interview with Chris Paul. Harvard Business Review. September-October 2023.

root-cause mind-sets

Mind-sets ingrained by past management practices remain ingrained far beyond the existence of the practices that formed them, even when new management practices have been put in place.

Here are three business examples that underscore the perils of ignoring this lesson. Example one: a bank that identified how its high performers succeeded in cross-selling decided to roll out a change program with support scripts and good profiling questions for the other bankers to use—and was dismayed to find that these moves had a negligible impact on sales. A second example: a telco introduced a dramatically simplified process and rating system for performance reviews only to find that its leaders still avoided delivering tough messages. Finally: a manufacturer invested hundreds of millions in a knowledge-management technology platform meant to discourage hoarding and encourage collaboration—only to declare, several months later, that the system had been a complete failure.

In all these examples, the companies did a good job of recognizing the behavioral change needed to achieve the desired goals. Yet they didn’t take the time, or use the tools available, to understand why smart, hard-working, and well-intentioned employees continued to behave as before.

At the bank, for instance, two seemingly good but ultimately performance-limiting mind-sets accounted for the failure of the new sales-stimulation tools and training. The first was “my job is to give the customers what they want”; the second, “I should follow the Golden Rule and treat my customers as I would like to be treated.” At the telco, employees had a deep-seated, reasonable-sounding belief that “criticism damages relationships.” At the manufacturing company, people had an underlying conviction that “around here, information is power, and good leaders are powerful leaders.”

The upshot? By looking at—and acting on—only observable behavior, company leaders overlooked its underlying root causes. Consequently, the change efforts of all three organizations led to disappointment.

Once the root-cause mind-sets are identified, the next step is to reframe those beliefs and thereby expand the range of reasonable behavioral choices employees make, day in and day out. That creates the caterpillar-to-butterfly effect described earlier. Would different beliefs, for example, have inspired expanded and better-informed behavioral choices for average-performing bankers? If so, which beliefs? Suppose they believed that their job—indeed, the way they add value for others—was to “help customers fully understand their needs” rather than “giving customers what they want.” Also, what if instead of applying the “Golden Rule,” bankers applied the “Platinum Rule”: treating others as they (rather than bankers) want to be treated.

And what if the telco executives, in their performance-management discussions, had believed that “honesty—combined with respect—doesn’t damage relationships; in fact, it is essential to building strong ones”? And what if the manufacturing managers had thought that “sharing information rather than hoarding is the best way to magnify power”? Had they believed that, the company very likely wouldn’t have needed an expensive (and ultimately futile) knowledge-management system to help employees reach out to one another and share best practices.

Beneath each of the reframes described above, it’s important to note, lies a deeper shift in worldview. For example, moving from the giving-customers-what-they-want mind-set to helping them fully understand what they really need reflects a move from subordinate to peer. Recognizing that honesty builds rather than destroys relationships reflects a shift from victimhood to mastery. And choosing to believe that power is expanded by sharing information, not that hoarding information is power, focuses on abundance, not scarcity.

"Getting personal about change," by Scott Keller and Bill Schaninger. McKinsey Quarterly. August 21, 2019. 

choose not to be harmed

Choose not to be harmed – and you won’t feel harmed.

Don’t feel harmed – and you haven’t been.

Marcus Aurelius

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Modern Library. 2003. P.39, Book 4, #7. Also see The Internet Classics Archive | The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (mit.edu)

none of them can hurt me

When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own – not of the same blood or birth, but the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.

Marcus Aurelius

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Modern Library. 2003. p.17, Book 2, #1. Also see The Internet Classics Archive | The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (mit.edu)

denying the request / denying the person

 

When people ask us to do something, we can confuse the request with our relationship with them. Sometimes they seem so interconnected, we forget that denying the request is not the same as denying the person. Only once we separate the decision from the relationship can we make a clear decision and then separately find the courage and compassion to communicate it.

Greg McKeown

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown. Crown/Archetype. 2020. p.137.

dropping all pretenses

Here’s a shocker: your people already know you have flaws! So if you make a mistake, admit it. If you need help, ask for it. When leaders admit their mistakes and ask for help, it creates stronger, more trusting relationships with team members.

Dropping all pretenses and letting your people get to know the person behind the title won’t cause them to lose respect for you. Quite the opposite. It will allow them to see you for who you really are—a confident leader who cares about their people and is comfortable in their own skin.

Ken Blanchard

"Everyone Benefits When Leaders Get Real," Linkedin Article. May 12, 2022

all politics is personal

I believe all politics is personal, because at bottom, politics depends on trust, and unless you can establish a personal relationship, it's awfully hard to build trust.... I have always followed my father's advice: Never tell a man what his interests are. Be straight and open with him about your own interests. And try to put yourself in his shoes. Try to understand his hopes and his limitations, and never insist that he do something you know he cannot. It's really just about making the effort to make a personal connection.

Joe Biden

Promise Me, Dad: A Year of Hope, Hardship, and Purpose. By Joe Biden. Flatiron Books. 2017. Preface. 129

trust is the coin of the realm

Trust is the coin of the realm for creating the harmony, speed, and teamwork to achieve success at the lowest cost… Yet it’s not enough to trust your people; you must be able to convey that trust in a manner that subordinates can sense. Only then can you fully garner the benefits… I had to build awareness and trust above me. This takes significant personal effort, and the information age has not made this easier or removed the need for face-to-face interaction.

I found staff visits and daily or weekly visits – reducing reports and getting out more to see units on their turf – essential to building trust. And “hand-con,” maintaining relationships, takes time to build, and can be lost in a second – and you may not get a chance to get it back. High morale is reflected by the absence of self-pity. Resourceful leaders do not lose touch with their troops. A leader’s job is to inculcate high-spirited, amiable self-discipline. Leaders must always generate options by surrounding themselves with bright subordinates and being catalysts for new ideas. 

Jim Mattis

MATTIS, J. (2019). CALL SIGN CHAOS: Learning to lead. S.l.: RANDOM HOUSE. 240

work-life balance

A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.  -  L.P. Jacks

When people use the phrase "work-life balance," most of them imagine a seesaw or a scale. On one end is "work," and on the other end is "life." The two are linked in such a way that everything is a tradeoff. If work is up, life is down. If life is up, work is down.

More of one means less of the other.

This is insane.

"Work-life balance" implies that work is separate from living a life, or that it's something to be balanced against your life. That's strange, given that most people spend more time working every day than they do in any other activity. If all of those hours are not part of life, then something is deeply wrong.

Life and work are not two enemies battling for our limited attention. In fact, the opposite tends to be the case. When we have meaningful, fulfilling, purposeful work, it radiates through out lives. And when we have happy, secure, loving relationships, they, too, radiate through our lives. 

The balance we seek is not that of a seesaw, but of a symphony, Every element of a symphony has a role to play: sometimes loud, sometimes quiet, sometimes silent, sometimes solo. The balance we seek is not for every instrument to be played in moderation at every moment - that's just a long, boring honk - but for a complementary relationship where each instrument is played at the right pitch and the right intensity, with the right phrasing and the right tempo. 

At certain times, particular aspects of our lives come to the fore, while others fall into the background. As new harmonies emerge, we can create something beautiful.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Resilience: Hard-won Wisdom for Living a Better Life by Eric Greitens. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2015. p.257

done you a kindness

He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another than he whom you yourself have obliged. 

Benjamin Franklin 

Autobiography and Other Writings by Benjamin Franklin, edited by Russel B. Nye. 1949. p.94

response-ability

Accountability breeds response-ability. Commitment and involvement produce change. In training executives, we use a step-by-step, natural, progressive, sequential approach to change. In fact, we encourage executives to set goals and make commitments up front; teach and apply the material regularly; and report their progress to each other. 

If you want to overcome the pull of the past - those powerful restraining forces of habit, custom, and culture - to bring about desired change, count the costs and rally the necessary resources. In the space program, we see that tremendous thrust is needed to clear the powerful pull of the earth's gravity. So it is with breaking old habits.

Breaking deeply embedded habits - such as procrastinating, criticizing, overeating, or oversleeping - involves more than a little wishing and willpower. Often our own resolve is not enough. We need reinforcing relationships - people and programs that hold us accountable and responsible. 

Remember: Response-ability is the ability to choose our response to any circumstance or condition. When we are response-able, our commitment becomes more powerful than our moods or circumstances, and we keep the promises and resolutions we make. 

Stephen R. Covey

Principle-Centered Leadership. 2009/ RosettaBooks. 

having better arguments

THE BETTER ARGUMENTS PROJECT—a civic initiative founded by Allstate, The Aspen Institute, Facing History and Ourselves, and the Bezos Family Foundation to help bridge divides—was built on the belief that arguments are fundamental to healthy civic life. To effectively address divisions in our society, it proposes we have better arguments, not fewer.

The project characterizes better arguments as emotionally intelligent, rooted in history, and honest about power imbalances. Using five principles for engagement—taking winning off the table, prioritizing relationships, paying attention to context, embracing vulnerability, and making room to transform—the project provides a framework for people to engage with each other on divisive issues.

"How Do We Build a Better Society? Have Better Arguments" The Atlantic (sponsored by Allstate)

See also: https://betterarguments.org/

we had to trust

If Grameen was to work, we knew we had to trust our clients. From day one, we knew that there would be no room for policing in our system. We never knew that there would be no room for policing in our system. We never used courts to settle our repayments. We did not involve lawyers or any outsiders. Today, commercial banks assume that every borrower is going to run away with their money, so they tie their clients up in legal knots. Lawyers pore over their precious documents, making certain that no borrower will escape the reach of the bank. There are no legal instruments between the lenders and the borrowers. We were convinced that the bank should be built on human trust, not on meaningless paper contracts. Grameen would succeed or fail depending on the strength of our personal relationships. We may be accused of being naïve, but our experience with bad debt is less than 1 percent. And even when borrowers do default on a loan, we do not assume that they are malevolent. Instead, we assume that personal circumstances have prevented them from repaying the money. Bad loans present a constant reminder of the need to do more to help our clients succeed.

Muhammad Yunus

A Bangladeshi social entrepreneur, banker, economist, and civil society leader who was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for founding the Grameen Bank and pioneering the concepts of microcredit and microfinance. These loans are given to entrepreneurs too poor to qualify for traditional bank loans.

Banker to the Poor: Micro-lending and the Battle Against World Poverty. 1999. Public Affairs, New York. P.70

a leadership role may not be right for you

If you can’t find a few extra hours to mentor and develop your direct reports, a leadership role may not be right for you. Time spent in team meetings is not the same. One-on-one meetings are a significant way for leaders to demonstrate they care. These interactions deepen relationships, build partnerships, and create loyalty.

When a servant leader takes the time to connect with a direct report, it lets that person know their work is important and they are a valued member of the team. One-on-one conversations are the foundation for strong, productive relationships that align people with each other and with the organization in a satisfying, meaningful way.

Ken Blanchard

"The Best Leaders Serve Their People One at a Time". Berrett-Koehler Publishers.  February 13, 2018. 

talk to your people

Hearing the phrase “you need to talk to your people” can invoke a feeling of dread in any manager. But when managers have frequent one-on-one conversations with their direct reports, it improves not only leadership skills but also job satisfaction. Our company’s research shows that employees want to have more time with their leaders. One survey found gaps of 10 to 16 percent between how often people want to meet with their managers and how often they actually meet.

Several years ago when my wife, Margie, was working with a fast food chain, she found out its turnover rate was much lower than average. She asked a manager what he did to keep the rate so low. The manager said he made sure to take at least ten minutes every week to talk to each employee. These conversations weren’t necessarily about job performance; they were simply an opportunity for the manager to check in with each person to see how things were going in their life.

After learning this, Margie talked to the staff and asked why they stayed. They all mentioned their manager and said they liked working for someone who cared about them. A few individuals said they knew they could go to another place and make a few more cents an hour, but they wanted to continue working for this manager. He made time for them, which in turn made them feel like a respected part of the team.

Margie was so enthusiastic about this concept that she shared it with our leadership team and went on to develop a process for one-on-one meetings. This process requires managers to meet with each of their direct reports for 15 to 30 minutes at least every two weeks. These meetings are not for discussing performance—they are meant to enhance the relationship between manager and employee.

The leader schedules the meeting but the employee sets the agenda. It’s a chance for the direct report to talk about their goals, share personal information, learn more about the company, or ask for help to solve a problem. These kinds of conversations allow managers and employees to get to know each other as human beings. When people are not just allowed but encouraged to talk with their managers about their everyday lives, relationships flourish because a new level of trust is created. And trusted working relationships improve performance on all sides.

Ken Blanchard

"The Best Leaders Serve Their People One at a Time". Berrett-Koehler Publishers.  February 13, 2018. 

from success to significance

Many people, as they go through life, focus mainly on success. To them, success is represented by wealth, recognition, and power and status. Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, as long as you don’t think that’s who you are. But I’d like you to focus on the opposite of each of those things as you strive to move from success to significance.

What’s the opposite of accumulating wealth? It’s generosity—of your time, talent, treasure, and touch (reaching out to support others). What’s the opposite of recognition? It’s service. And what’s the opposite of power and status? It’s loving relationships.

If you focus only on success—wealth, recognition, and power and status—you will never reach significance. That’s the problem with self-serving leaders; they have a hard time getting out of their own way. But if you focus on significance—generosity, service, and loving relationships—you’ll be amazed at how much success will come your way. Take Mother Teresa, for example. She couldn’t care less about wealth, recognition, or status. Her whole life was focused on significance. And what happened? Success came her way. Her ministry received tremendous financial backing, she was recognized all over the world, and she was given the highest status wherever she went. Mother Teresa was the ultimate servant leader. If you focus on significance first, your emphasis will be on serving others—and success and results will follow.

Life is all about the choices we make as we interact with others. We can choose to be serving or self-serving. Life constantly presents us with opportunities to choose to love and serve one another.

Someone once said to my wife, Margie, “You’ve lived with Ken for more than 50 years. What do you think leadership is all about?”

Margie said, “Leadership isn’t about love—it is love. It’s loving your mission, loving your customers, loving your people, and loving yourself enough to get out of the way so that other people can be magnificent.”

That’s what servant leadership is all about.

Ken Blanchard

"Moving from Success to Significance". KenBlanchardBooks.com.  January 24, 2018. 

safe to tell the truth

Todd Davis, serves as the chief people officer for FranklinCovey and is the author of the new book Get Better: 15 Proven Practices to Build Effective Relationships at Work, believes, "No matter what business you're in, people are your greatest asset. However, it's the nature of the relationships between people that become your organization's greatest competitive advantage...."

Says Davis, "Leaders must make it 'safe to tell the truth.' They must be open to feedback, so it's safe for people to tell the truth when they give or get feedback."

Adam Fridman

"Why Reflective Leadership Is the Key to a Successful Purpose Transformation". Inc. August 18, 2017. 

gratitude - a daily practice

Turning gratitude into a daily practice isn’t on the radar of enough of today’s business leaders, despite the immeasurable professional and personal benefits. But, according to Psychology Today, gratitude opens the door to more relationships. I’ve discovered that relationship-building is a big factor in success, and so make a habit of helping others, as a way to network and forge more personal connections.

Gratitude also improves your overall psychological mindset. This can be crucial for entrepreneurs and business leaders who all too often suffer from depression and chronic stress in silence. Entrepreneurship and growing a business is not for the faint of heart, and we could all use more gratitude to help us remember why we were optimistic enough to jump into this arena in the first place.

Then, what I personally love about gratitude is how it anchors you to the present to fully embrace and benefit from each experience. It's like that new business inspiration that popped into your head when you were paying close attention to a speaker at a conference. It helps you gain a foothold on the work-life balance we all need in our lives.

Sujan Patel

"4 Leadership Lessons You Won't Learn in Business School" Entrepreneur. 7/17/2017

people who have full, three-dimensional lives

Belichick strongly believes you must see your team not just as players, per se, but as people who have full, three-dimensional, and often messy lives.

"There are a lot of things that affect what happens on the field that occurs off the field," he says. Players "have wives and girlfriends. And they have babies. And they have personal situations. They have parents that are sick. All of it runs in together."

Work and life, in other words, are inseparable, and it's incumbent on leaders to help their people sort through it. "The more you and the organization can help take care of personal situations," he says, "the smoother the ship runs on the football end."

Suzy Welch

"Bill Belichick reveals his 5 rules of exceptional leadership" CNBC. 4/13/2107

every battle is won before it is fought

"The only sign we have in the locker room is from 'The Art of War.' 'Every battle is won before it is fought,'" says Belichick, who started breaking down films of opposing teams when he was 7 years old and hanging out with his dad, Steve, an assistant coach at Annapolis.

"You [have to] know what the opponents can do, what their strengths and weaknesses are ... [and] what to do in every situation," he says.

That ability — to adapt on a dime — is why Belichick says he spends so much time building teamwork, from having the team train with Navy SEALs, to organizing trivia nights, where, incidentally, all social media is banned.

"Nobody is against [social media] more than I am. I can't stand it," Belichick says. "I think it's important for us, as a team, to know each other. Know our teammates and our coaches. To interact with them is more important than to be 'liked' by whoever on Chatrun." (In the same conversation, he also derided "InstaFace" in all seriousness.)

Suzy Welch
"Bill Belichick reveals his 5 rules of exceptional leadership" CNBC. 4/13/2107