grab an oar and row

I don't believe in just ordering people to do things. You have to sort of grab an oar and row with them. My philosophy is to stay as close as possible to what's happening. If I can't solve something, how the hell can I expect my managers to?

Harold Geneen

from an interview for an article in The New York Times (1977), as cited in "Harold S. Geneen, 87, Dies; Nurtured AT&T". Published 23 November 1997 in The New York Times. As found in 2022 Great Quotes from Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes from Leaders Who Shaped the World.

see the ship through the eyes of the crew

The key to being a successful skipper is to see the ship through the eyes of the crew. Only then can you find out what's really wrong and, in so doing, help the sailors empower themselves to fix it.

A simple principle, yes, but on the Navy applauds in theory and rejects in practice. Officers are told to delegate authority and empower subordinates, but in reality they are expected never to utter the words "I don't know." So they are on constant alert, riding herd on every detail. In short, the system rewards micromanagement by superiors - at the cost of disempowering those below. This is understandable, given the military's ancient insistence on obedience in the face of chaos, which is essential in battle. Moreover, subordinates may sidestep responsibility by reasoning that their managers are paid to take the rap.

A ship commanded by a micromanager and his or her hierarchy of sub-micromanagers is no breeding ground for individual initiative. And I was aiming for 310 initiative-takers - a crew ready, able, and willing to make Benfold the top-rated ship in the fleet.

D. Michael Abrashoff

It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.13, 14

having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay

When I started working at Wal-Mart in West Texas, we would anticipate a store visit by the chairman with the same sense you get when you're going to meet a great athlete, or a movie star, or a head of state. But once he comes in the store, that feeling of awe is overcome by a sort of kinship. He is a master at erasing that 'larger-than-life' feeling that people have for him. How many heads of state always start the conversation by wanting to know what you think? What's on your mind?

After a visit, everyone in the store has no doubt that he genuinely appreciates our contributions, no matter how insignificant. Every associate feels like he or she does make a difference. It's almost like having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay. He never lets us down.

Andy Sims, Manager, Wal-Mart No. 1, Rogers, Arkansas

Sam Walton, Made in America by Sam Walton & John Huey. Bantam Books. 1992. p. 140, 141

growing others

Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.

Jack Welch

Winning: The Ultimate Business How-To Book by Jack Welch, Suzy Welch. HarperCollins. 2009. As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World.

how we can be more helpful to others

A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. You can use this material to blame just as well as you can use anything else. Merely knowing the material doesn't get you out of the box. Living it does. And we're not living it if we're using it to diagnose others. Rather, we're living it when we're using it to learn how we can be more helpful to others...

Knowing the material

• Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box."
• When you're in the box, you can't focus on results.
• Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box.
• You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.

Living the material

• Don't try to be perfect. Do try to be better.
• Don't use the vocabulary - "the box," and so on - with people who don't already know it. Do use the principles in your own life.
• Don't look for others' boxes. Do look for your own.
• Don't accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box yourself.
• Don't give up on yourself when you discover you've been in the box. Do keep trying.
• Don't deny you've been in the box when you have been. Do apologize, then just keep marching forward, trying to be more helpful to others in the future. 
• Don't focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help.
• Don't worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others.

Leadership and Self-deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute. Berrett-Koehler. 2002. p.165,166

exerting one's strength

There are two ways of exerting one's strength; one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. 

Booker T. Washington

Booker T. Washington: Educator and Leader by Kristin Thoennes Keller. Capstone Press. 2005. p.19 As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World.

we are all interdependent

We talk of independence. No man is independent. We are all interdependent; and we shall only rise as we carry others with us, and as we are assisted by others.

James E. Talmage

A Beginner's Guide to Talmage: Excerpts from the Writings of James E. Talmage. Deseret Book. 2013

he who forgets himself

 

He who lives only unto himself withers and dies, while he who forgets himself in the service of others grows and blossoms in this life and in eternity.

Gordon B. Hinckley

“Whosoever Will Save His Life” Ensign. August 1982. 

the leader must become a servant

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between the two, the leader must become a servant.

Max De Pree

Leadership Is an Art by Max De Pree. Crown Publisher. June 22, 2011. As quoted in "The Neuroscience of Trust: Management behaviors that foster employee engagement," by Paul J. Zak. Harvard Business Review. January-February 2017. 

what is humility?

Some suppose that humility is about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value... We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving...

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Pride and the Priesthood," October 2010 General Conference

you're a provider of hope

“The No. 1 thing for all leaders: You’re a provider of hope,” [Coach Herm] Edwards said. “It’s a service position. You actually serve them; they don’t serve you. That’s very important. … There are two ways you lead: You lead by your seat, or you lead by your feet. I choose to lead by my feet. I know the people that I work with. I make sure I communicate with people. They want to see you.”

Anna Katherine Clemmons

"ASU Coach Herm Edwards is Preparing Athletes for Football Season - and Life." USA Today.  November 2019

the balance between giving and taking

Gauge the balance between giving and taking. Givers offer assistance, share knowledge, and focus on introducing and helping others. Takers attempt to get other people to do something that will ultimately benefit them, while they act as gatekeepers of their own knowledge.

[Adam] Grant’s conclusion is clear: a willingness to help others is not just the essence of effective cooperation and innovation — it is also the key to accelerating your own performance.

Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg

"Help Your Team Do More Without Burning Out" Harvard Business Review. Oct. 15, 2018

maturity and caliber

Headhunters call [the] change of perspective from ego-drive to co-drive “executive maturity.” The mature leader’s burning question is: how do I help others perform?

The developmental psychologist Robert Kegan calls the leap a subject/object shift. You progress from seeing and navigating in the world on the basis of your own needs and motives — and allowing yourself to be governed by these needs — to seeing yourself from an external position as a part of an organism.

It requires a certain caliber and self-assuredness to act in this way. The ability to put your ego on hold may require a great effort. It might be worthwhile reminding yourself of the words of the American President Harry Truman: “It is incredible what you can achieve, if you don’t care who gets the credit.” If you succeed in making this shift, and thereby improving the skills of the people around you, then you will also experience a greater degree of freedom.

Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg

"Help Your Team Do More Without Burning Out" Harvard Business Review. Oct. 15, 2018

carried his own bags

In his new position as secretary of defense, General James Mattis has assumed control of the world's largest and most powerful military. Mattis is now in command of a military made up of nearly one-and-a-half-million people spread across the entire globe. The General is inarguably one of the most powerful men in the world.

Yet, the renown “Warrior Monk” seemingly remains as humble and modest as he's always been.

When Secretary of Defense James Mattis was boarding his flight to South Korea early Wednesday morning, he did something unprecedented for someone in his position. Mattis carried his own bags onto the plane. Embarking on his first overseas trip as Secretary of Defense, Mattis sent a clear message about his leadership style.

To see someone so powerful carrying their own bags may be surprising to some, but to people familiar with the famed “Warrior Monk,” it was all but expected....

This isn't anything new for Secretary Mattis. Stretching far back into his days in the Marine Corps, Mattis has long been praised for being a servant-leader and always putting the needs of his subordinates before himself.

Perhaps no better story can describe this characteristic of Secretary Mattis than when he opted to spend Christmas on base at Quantico so the young Marine originally scheduled to do so could be home with his family. General Charles Krulak, then the Commandant of the Marine Corps, had stopped by the base to deliver cookies and was shocked to find Mattis on duty. Not only had Secretary Mattis given up his holiday for a young Marine, he hadn't told anyone. He simply did it because he knew it was right.

Josh Billinson

"This One Thing Secretary Mattis Does Separates Him from the Rest of Washington's Powerful". IJR News.  Feb. 1, 2017.

what my job as CEO is not

The most powerful learnings for me in my journey as a CEO have been about what my job is not –

It is not my job to be a judge. My job is to give people the tools and visibility to assess themselves. People are fully capable of self-assessment and although I often give feedback, this is just an input which may or may not be relevant in the problem they are solving.

My job is not to problem solve. I have a natural love of problem solving so my natural instinct is to jump in and try to solve the problem. My true job is to make sure success is clearly defined and then hard as it is—step aside. One person has very limited experiences to draw from and we can only achieve success if everyone is problem solving together.

Phoebe Hayman

"Phoebe Hayman, the founder of Seedling, Talks About Leadership as a Support Role" by Ramon B. Nuez Jr. Huffington Post. August 28, 2017.

leadership as a support role

Personally, I see leadership as a support role — a listener, a facilitator, a translator, a navigator. I know its common to think of the leader as the visionary, but if you’re a good listener, facilitator, translator and navigator then the leader shares ownership over the vision with the entire team.

Your time to lead is in developing a framework for the team to work within. In order to be successful in executing this shared vision, it’s the leader’s responsibility is to help people understand the role they play and how they can successfully measure their performance. Then you need to take a step back and get out of their way.

Phoebe Hayman

"Phoebe Hayman, the founder of Seedling, Talks About Leadership as a Support Role" by Ramon B. Nuez Jr. Huffington Post. August 28, 2017.

a leadership role may not be right for you

If you can’t find a few extra hours to mentor and develop your direct reports, a leadership role may not be right for you. Time spent in team meetings is not the same. One-on-one meetings are a significant way for leaders to demonstrate they care. These interactions deepen relationships, build partnerships, and create loyalty.

When a servant leader takes the time to connect with a direct report, it lets that person know their work is important and they are a valued member of the team. One-on-one conversations are the foundation for strong, productive relationships that align people with each other and with the organization in a satisfying, meaningful way.

Ken Blanchard

"The Best Leaders Serve Their People One at a Time". Berrett-Koehler Publishers.  February 13, 2018. 

from success to significance

Many people, as they go through life, focus mainly on success. To them, success is represented by wealth, recognition, and power and status. Now there’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, as long as you don’t think that’s who you are. But I’d like you to focus on the opposite of each of those things as you strive to move from success to significance.

What’s the opposite of accumulating wealth? It’s generosity—of your time, talent, treasure, and touch (reaching out to support others). What’s the opposite of recognition? It’s service. And what’s the opposite of power and status? It’s loving relationships.

If you focus only on success—wealth, recognition, and power and status—you will never reach significance. That’s the problem with self-serving leaders; they have a hard time getting out of their own way. But if you focus on significance—generosity, service, and loving relationships—you’ll be amazed at how much success will come your way. Take Mother Teresa, for example. She couldn’t care less about wealth, recognition, or status. Her whole life was focused on significance. And what happened? Success came her way. Her ministry received tremendous financial backing, she was recognized all over the world, and she was given the highest status wherever she went. Mother Teresa was the ultimate servant leader. If you focus on significance first, your emphasis will be on serving others—and success and results will follow.

Life is all about the choices we make as we interact with others. We can choose to be serving or self-serving. Life constantly presents us with opportunities to choose to love and serve one another.

Someone once said to my wife, Margie, “You’ve lived with Ken for more than 50 years. What do you think leadership is all about?”

Margie said, “Leadership isn’t about love—it is love. It’s loving your mission, loving your customers, loving your people, and loving yourself enough to get out of the way so that other people can be magnificent.”

That’s what servant leadership is all about.

Ken Blanchard

"Moving from Success to Significance". KenBlanchardBooks.com.  January 24, 2018. 

flipping the triangle

...[A]fter Harden hits the 3 to give the Rockets their 53rd win, something doesn't feel right. In his office, D'Antoni grabs a marker from a cup on the table and takes to the wall, which is a floor to ceiling whiteboard. In the background, Hall and Oates are imploring Sarahto smile a while. Every other coach and player has gone home.

D'Antoni says he knows everything's OK with this team, but he repeats that sentiment often enough to indicate that he might not trust it. With the playoffs looming, he can't help but worry about chemistry and egos.

He pops the cap off the marker and draws a triangle with the point facing up. "This is the player's viewpoint," he says. He points to the peak and writes "player" next to it. At the wide base of the triangle, he writes "team." To the player, the individual is at the top of the triangle, the focus, the pinnacle. Self-preservation is vital. The team, down there at the bottom, is less important.

He draws another triangle with the point facing down. "This is the coach's viewpoint," he says. He writes "team" across the wide flat top and "player" at the point facing down. To the coach, the team is at the top of the triangle, the focus, the pinnacle. Communal preservation is vital. The individual, down there at the bottom, is less important.

The triangles are presented in a basketball context, but the top-down triangle is why Laurel and Mike have been married for more than 30 years. The message echoes a sign in the D'Antoni kitchen that bears an Italian proverb, the last thing they see as they leave and the first when they return:

When the game is over

The king and the pawn

Go back in the same box

It's cave-quiet untill Laurel asks, "What do the players think when you show them the triangles?"

"They think it's cute," he says.

He caps the marker, tosses it on the table and sits down. He says he's probably worrying for no reason, and Laurel agrees. It's time to go home, but not before he takes one more look at the whiteboard. Flipping that triangle in the minds of his players - getting them to see the game the way he sees it - is the fundamental conflict of his professional life.

Tim Keown
"All Their Hoops And Dreams" ESPN the magazine .08.5/8/2017

heroes actions involve courage

Today the word "hero" has been diminished, confused with "celebrity." But in my father's generation the word meant something.

Celebrities seek fame. The take action to get attention. Most often, the actions they take have no particular moral content. Heroes are heroes because they have risked something to help others. Their actions involve courage.

James Bradley

Flags of Our Fathers: Heroes of Iwo Jima by James Bradley with Ron Powers. May 2000. p.260