listening for the good

Stephen: First I want to talk about—you have issued another beautiful book inspired by your late mother. It's called Just Shine!. One of the things I understand she says is, you don't know what's going on with someone else. You may disagree with them.

Justice Sotomayor: You have to ask them.

Stephen: Does that come in handy in your job?

Justice Sotomayor: A lot. But she showed me something else, which is you can't really judge people by their opinions because you may differ in them. You may not like what people do. One of my favorite stories—she had a friend who talked nonstop. How many of you have those kinds of friends? I bet a lot of you. They walk in, they never stop talking. My brother and I would scurry out of the room as fast as we could. My brother would probably go out to play basketball. I would go hide in my room and read. My mother would sit there and just listen.

One day after this woman had left, I looked at her and said, "How do you have that patience?" And she said, "Sonia, it can be frustrating moments, but I always remember that she really has such a wonderful heart. When I've been sick, she comes over and she's the first one to bring me food. If I am stuck not having a ride somewhere"—so she didn't drive at the time—"I call her up and she offers before I say anything. Not everybody does that."

She taught me to look for the best in people. That was the lesson that moment gave me, and it's one I look for in my colleagues, you know. I don't agree with them much—at least not with the majority—and they can be really frustrating. And there are moments when I want to scurry out of the room. But I don't. And what I look for to maintain our collegiality is the good in them. My mother was right—there is good in almost everyone. I say "almost everyone" because I was a prosecutor, and there are some evil people.

Sotomayor, Sonia. Interview by Stephen Colbert. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. YouTube, uploaded by The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, 10 Sept. 2025, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKSzq4keAx8.

i know nothing

Give some thought to all the people who have achieved something great, only to quickly fade into obscurity. I’m sure you can think of a few, whether they’re entertainers or business people or athletes. 

In my career I’ve coached many “successful” people who came to me because their lives had gone flat, and they had become uninspired and tepid. What happened? For many of them, they got comfortable. For years, they had pushed their comfort zones to get where they wanted to be. But as soon as they chose certainty over uncertainty, they stopped achieving. They hit the wall.

Why does it happen? Because when you’ve accomplished one of your goals, when you’re rich and successful, the future naturally seems a little more certain. I’m sure we’d all feel a little more secure with a million bucks or so in the bank.

But that mindset shift is exactly what creates the environment for our ultimate undoing. When we’re no longer uncertain about money, the desire – the need even – to pursue it recedes. When we’re no longer uncertain about success, our ambition can blunt or mellow. We get to wallow in our bloated illusion of certainty. Eventually we get to do that thing called “settle.” We settle for certainty. 

That’s the kind of power that uncertainty has in our lives. It can make us or break us. It can make us rich or make us poor. It can be the key to our success or drive us in the other direction. 

For many people, it ends up being both. 

The funny thing is, no matter how much you chase certainty, you’ll never really be able to hold it or retain it. That’s because it doesn’t exist. The universe will always send us little reminders of its chaos and power, and no one is exempt from the prompting. 

Nothing is certain. You could go to sleep tonight and never wake up. You could get in your car and never make it to work. Certainty is a complete illusion. Voodoo.

Some of you might find this terrible to think about, but it’s true. No matter how hard we may try, we can never predict exactly what life will bring. Our plans will falter at some point eventually. 

By running from uncertainty in search of certainty, we’re actually rejecting the one thing in life that is guaranteed in favor of something that’s nothing more than a fantasy. 

“All I know,” Socrates once said, “is that I know nothing.” Many wise people understand this. In fact, they owe their wisdom to that very realization – that they don’t actually know a damn thing.

Because when we think we know everything, we inadvertently turn ourselves away from the unknown and, by default, whole new realms of success. The person who accepts how unpredictable and uncertain life is has no choice but to embrace it.

They’re not afraid of the uncertain; it’s just a part of life. They don’t seek out certainty because they know it doesn’t really exist. They are also the kind of people who are aware of and open to the real magic and miracles of life and what can be accomplished.

Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.103-106

a word after a word after a word is power

Margaret Atwood, the prolific author of eighteen books of poetry, eighteen novels, eleven books of nonfiction, nine collections of short fiction, and eight children's books, once wrote, "A word after a word after a word is power." Even rubbish words are more powerful than a blank page. In fact, they are much more powerful, because there can be no magnum opus later without those rubbish words now. 

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by an essential project because you think you have to produce something flawless from the outset, simply lower the bar to start. Whether it's writing a book, composing a song, painting a canvas, or any other creative pursuit that calls to you, inspiration flows from the courage to start with rubbish. 

By embracing imperfection, by having the courage to be rubbish, we can begin. And once we begin, we become a little less rubbish, and then a little less. And eventually, out of the rubbish comes exceptional, effortless breakthroughs in the things that matter.

Greg McKeown

Effortless: Make it Easier to do what Matters Most. By Greg McKeown. Random House. 2021. p. 132. Also watch Margaret Atwood: A Word After a Word After a Word is Power, Hulu.

and no further guidance

Major Dick Winters is an extraordinary human being. Very self-effacing and very professional in a soldierly manner. When I met him I had showed him my training schedule and said, “Sir can you look and suggest anything I might do differently?” And he had read it the night before. He said, “You know Captain - I think this  would be adequate. Of course it’s not really the aspect of the training, it’s the quality of the training. It’s the Leadership.” And I said, “Yes sir. I understand that full well.” And he said, “I don’t have anything particular to add - except do it well - and hang tough.” And I said, “Yes sir. Absolutely will do that.”  

And I wanted him to come and observe. And in the moment he said, “No, I don’t think I will.” What I sensed was, not that Dick Winters wasn’t interested - Lord knows he was - but he trusted me, as a subordinate, as a fellow officer - he trusted me to do it right. And to me that was the world’s greatest compliment. That he would say, “ No I don’t want to come out and monitor what you’re doing. I trust you to do it. You are a young company commander. I’m the old battalion commander. I was fired up because nothing inspires a leader more than being given a basic mission and no further guidance. “This is what I want you to do. It is up to you as a professional to get it done.” And that’s what Dick Winters did with me. 

Capt. Dale Dye

Band of Brothers Podcast, Episode 3 "Carentan" with Capt. Dale Dye & Matthew Settle. hosted by Roger Bennett. 

being free of self-betrayal

Your success as a leader depends on being free of self-betrayal. Only then do you invite others to be free of self-betrayal themselves. Only then are you creating leaders yourself - coworkers whom people will respond to, trust, and want to work with.

Leadership and Self-deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute. Berrett-Koehler. 2002. p.154

because they were inspired

Those who truly lead are able to create a following of people who act not because they were swayed, but because they were inspired. For those who are inspired, the motivation to act is deeply personal. They are less likely to be swayed by incentives. Those who are inspired are willing to pay a premium or endure inconvenience, even personal suffering. Those who are able to inspire will create a following of people – supporters, voters, customers, workers – who act for the good of the whole not because they have to, but because they want to.

Simon Sinek

Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek. Penguin Publishing Group. 2009. p.6

come up with a mantra

The best leaders understand the power of words. They can motivate, inspire, and capture the hearts of people. In the Welder Leader Program, we call a collection of words that do this a "maximizing mantra."  Every leader regardless of what kind of a company they are in should leverage a maximizing mantra. Some of my favorites include "row the boat," "take dead aim," "let's go," "move the needle," and "sacrifice is rewarded."

John Eades

"Want to Be Seen as a True Leader? Acquire These 5 Habits" Inc. March 28, 2018

navigation of ambiguity

Rapidly increasing rates of change and growing complexity has made navigating ambiguity essential in leadership. We've begun to see disruptive change in all directions, and leaders must be agile to navigate the ambiguity and stay competitive. Leaders who can remain calm and relaxed and continue to inspire their teams in the face of increasing complexity give their companies a tremendous advantage.

Rey Castellanos, Feed Your Wolf

"13 Leadership Skills You Didn't Need A Decade Ago That Are Now Essential." Forbes. December 13, 2016

inspire others

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.


John Quincy Adams

"50 Inspiring Quotes on Leadership for Everyone" Time. July 1, 2015

he was actually there

Some years ago, we worked with a director of a multinational pharma company who’d been receiving poor grades for engagement and leadership effectiveness. Although he tried to change, nothing seemed to work. As his frustration grew, he started tracking the time he spent with each of his direct reports — and every time he received bad feedback, he pulled out his data and exclaimed, ”But look how much time I spend with everyone!”

Things improved when he began a daily 10-minute mindfulness practice. After a couple of months, people found him more engaging, nicer to work with, and more inspiring. He was surprised and elated by the results. The real surprise? When he pulled out his time-tracking spreadsheet, he saw that he was spending, on average, 21% less time with his people.

The difference? He was actually there.

He came to understand that, even though he was in the same room with someone, he wasn’t always fully present. He let himself become preoccupied with other activities or let his mind drift to other things. And, most of all, he’d listen to his inner voice when someone was talking. Because of his lack of presence, people felt unheard and frustrated.

Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter

"If You Aspire to Be a Great Leader, Be Present" Harvard Business Review. December 13, 2017.

life's too short for PowerPoint

Inspiring people is my job. I recognize I need to do this on multiple levels all the time. On an individual level, I try to enter most conversations thinking: How do I leave this person inspired to do amazing things — to believe in themselves and the work they are doing. I don’t always get it right, but I try. I believe being authentic is key, too. People want to feel a sense of belonging, safety and shared purpose. To really unlock that, you need to allow them to see the real you.

I also need to communicate, communicate, communicate. In theory, you could do everything on video these days. But I don’t think inspiration works that way. So when I travel to a market, I try to connect with as many people as possible through town halls and “working the work.” I don’t come to judge what people are doing. I roll up my sleeves and help them solve their biggest problems. Life’s too short for PowerPoint presentations — there are real problems to solve!

Syl Saller

"'Life's Too Short For PowerPoint': CMO Leadership Talk With Diageo's Syl Saller" by Thomas Barta.  Forbes.  Feb. 24, 2017.

four characteristics of the transformational leader

Transformational leaders exhibit four characteristics in their interactions with employees; idealized influence, inspirational motivation, intellectual stimulation, and individualized consideration.

Transformational Leaders

• Charisma: Provides vision and sense of mission, instills pride, gains respect and trust. 
• Inspiration: Communicates high expectations, uses symbols to focus efforts, expresses important purposes in simple ways.
• Intellectual stimulation: Promotes intennigence, rationality, and careful problem solving. 
• Individualized Consideration: Gives personal atention, treats each employee individually, coaches, advises. 

Transactional Leaders

• Contingent Reward: Contracts exchange of rewards for effort, promises rewards for good performance, recognizes accomplishments.
• Management by Exception (active): Watches and searches for deviations from rules and standards, takes corrective action.
• Management by Exception (passive): Intervenes only if standards are not met. 
• Lasissez-Faire: Abdicates responsibilities, avoids making decisions. 

Bernard M. Bass

"From transactional to transformational leadership. Learning to share the vision." by B.M. Bass.  Organizational dynamics.  Winter 1990.  As quoted by "Phoebe Hayman, the founder of Seedling, Talks About Leadership as a Support Role" by Ramon B. Nuez Jr. Huffington Post. August 28, 2017.

Bono’s leadership playbook

Bono (No. 14, World’s Greatest Leaders) finds a potential ally in the crowd. It’s young Barbara Bush, the daughter of former President George W. Bush and granddaughter of the first President Bush, whom Bono wickedly prank-called from U2’s Zoo Tour concert stage in the early 1990s. All is forgiven. “I saw your sister last week, swollen with child,” he says to Barbara Bush, talking about her twin, Jenna Bush Hager. “Absolutely beautiful she was!” Then he leans in for the drop. “You know, I do want to call your dad,” he says. “I have for about a week.” The world is now on track to eliminate the AIDS epidemic by 2030. Had she heard? “Your father, he was part of this,” Bono says, referring to the creation of Pepfar (President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief) in 2003, the legislation that has earmarked some $60 billion in the fight against AIDS to date. It remains the largest financial commitment of any country to combat a single infectious disease. It had bipartisan support. Its passage brought global attention to an illness that was on its way to becoming a deadly, uncontrollable pandemic. Says Bono: “I don’t think the American people understand how many lives they’ve saved.” Later he reformulates the message, spinning it into a clever political tagline: “If you’re a taxpayer, you’re an AIDS activist.”

The line reflects a classic scrimmage call from Bono’s leadership playbook: One, spread the credit liberally for every success. Two, remind people that they are essential to the mission. Three, ask for more. Repeat steps one through three.

Ellen McGirt
"Bono: I Will Follow" Fortune. 4/1/2016

be yourself

Malala [Yousafzai] might have a voice on the world stage, but she doesn’t pretend she’s the world’s greatest authority on education. She understands that to persuade people, she needs to let them see who she really is. Although she always advocates for what she believes in, she uses her pranksterish humor, candor, and youthful charm to disarm people, whether they're global leaders like President Obama and Queen Elizabeth or late-night talk show hosts like Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert.

Malala is honest and direct. She shares things about herself—some lighthearted, like how she loves to tease her brothers and her obsession with arm wrestling, and some poignant, like her concern for her homeland and her insecurities about being a teenager. Because Malala is unapologetically herself, her message resonates with that thing all leaders require: authenticity.

It’s natural for leaders to want to impress others, to play a part that sometimes isn't quite genuine—to come off as the smartest one in the room or the one with all the answers. Manufactured personas turn people off. A true leader knows that they'll be more compelling, persuasive, and inspiring to others if they express all parts of their personality evenhandedly—including their humor, humility, and even their vulnerability. Sometimes the messenger is just as important as the message.

Camille Sweeney and Josh Gosfield

"Five Leadership Lessons From Malala Yousafzai" Fast Company. 10/12/2015

don't throw me out of the boat!

When I think of crisis I think of the story of Louie Zamperini as told by Laura Hillenbrand in her book, Unbroken. While on a rescue mission, Louie’s B-24 crashed into the Pacific Ocean. The three survivors (Zamperini and his crewmates, pilot Russell Allen "Phil" Phillips and Francis "Mac" McNamara) end up in a life raft with minimal food, trying to make landfall. One night, in an act of panic, Mac ate all of the chocolate bars (approximately 6) as the other men slept. Mac’s actions put the other two at significant risk. Louie and Phil were discouraged by Mac’s actions, but they didn’t throw him overboard.

Later, the three men are spotted by an enemy fighter pilot, who strafes the small raft – puncturing the boat. Hillenbrand writes:

Phil’s raft had been slashed in two…. [T]he ruined raft… didn’t sink, but it was obviously far beyond repair…. Each time one of the men moved, air sighed out of the chambers and the… raft sat lower and lower in the water. The sharks whipped around it, surely excited by the bullets, and the sight and smell of men in the water, and the sinking raft,

As the men sat together, exhausted and in shock, a shark lunged up over a wall of the raft, mouth open, trying to drag a man into the ocean. Someone grabbed an oar and hit the shark, and it slid off. Then another shark jumped on, and, after it, another…. As they turned and swung and the sharks flopped up, air was forced out of the bullet holes, and the raft sank deeper. Soon, part of the raft was completely submerged.

If the men didn’t get air into the raft immediately, the sharks would take them…. The men hooked [a pump] up to one of the two valves and took turns pumping as hard as they could. Air flowed into the chamber and seeped out through the bullet holes, but the men found that if they pumped very quickly, just enough air passed through the raft to lift it up in the water and keep it mostly inflated. The sharks kept coming, and the men kept beating them away….

Louie began patching… As Louie worked, keeping his eyes on the patches, the sharks kept snapping at him…. Hour after hour, the men worked, rotating the duties, clumsy with fatigue. The pumping was an enormous exertion for the diminished men…. All three men were indispensable. Had there been only two, they couldn’t have pumped, patched, and repelled the sharks. For the first time on the raft, Mac was truly helpful. He was barely strong enough to pull the pump handle a few times in a row, but with the oar he kept every shark away.

I think of those three men, struggling to survive in the boat. Surely, if Louie and Phil had thrown Mac overboard for eating all of their food, they wouldn’t have survived the sinking raft and attacking sharks. Mac had the opportunity to act during this crisis, and his heroic efforts saved the lives of the men. Mac was necessary to avert disaster.

While we’re in crisis situations, stress levels rise and it’s easy to find fault with one another. Encouragement is more important than criticism when the team is truly up against it. Are you inspiring the troops, or busy trying to throw them overboard when the going gets tough?

Adam Dibble

"Don't throw me out of the boat!" leadershipYES 2/24/2016

and make sure to read:

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. Random House. 2010.

thoughts for managing a creative culture

John Lasseter and Ed Catmull, VES Awards. 2/28/2010

Here are some of the principles we’ve developed over the years to enable and protect a healthy creative culture. I know that when you distill a complex idea into a T-shirt slogan, you risk giving the illusion of understanding – and, in the process, of sapping the idea of its power. An adage worth repeating is also halfway to being irrelevant. You end up with something that is easy to say but not connected to behavior. But while I have been dismissive of reductive truths throughout this book, I do have a point of view, and I thought it might be helpful to share some of the principles that I hold most dear here with you. The trick is to think of each statement as a starting point, as a prompt toward deeper inquiry, and not as a conclusion.

• Give good idea to a mediocre team, and they will screw it up. Give a mediocre idea to a great team, and they will either fix it or come up with something better. If you get the right team right, chances are that they’ll get the ideas right.
• When looking to hire people, give their potential to grow more weight

passionately remind them

Most of us know this instinctively, but in the heat of the moment, it's easy to forget how powerful an insight it can be. In an experiment at Harvard in the early 2000s, for example, psychologists gave a math test to a group of college students, all Asian American women. Researchers randomly split the group into two. Before being given the test, one group was subtly reminded that they were women; the other that they were Asian Americans. What happened? The first group performed below average; the second group, above it. The lesson: Perceptions--in this case, that women are weak in math and that Asian Americans excel in it--can have a huge impact on performance. Other studies have found the same thing. In the 1970s, researchers at Harvard asked subjects to take a math test, then paired them up to role-play a boss and an assistant. Then they were given another test. The scores of the assistants dropped an average of 50%.

As the leader of a company, of course, you are constantly faced with employees who do not perform up to expectations. What should you do? The single worst thing is to call them lazy and attempt to shame them into taking action. Instead, employees need to be reminded of what they are capable of accomplishing, even as you observe that they are falling short of their potential.

Which brings us back to Sir Winston. In his early days as Prime Minister, Churchill also had to exhort a war-weary military, Parliament, and public to stay the course. In a make-or-break speech to the House of Commons, Churchill acknowledged "the darker side of our danger and burdens" and went on to say, "It is in adversity that British qualities shine the brightest, and it is under these extraordinary tests that the character of our slowly wrought institutions reveals its latent, invisible strength." The speech has been credited with helping to revive Britain's sagging spirits and gradually changing the course of the war.

So if your people seem to have lost some of the passion they once had for their jobs and your company... why not take a page from Churchill and passionately remind them about the light within them? Who knows what possibilities you may create?

Hitendra Wadhwa

"What Would Winston Do?" Inc. 5/29/2012

you can’t wait for the sun to rise

At the end of a recent podcast interview, the host asked me, “What’s the best advice you ever got?” Before I tell you what I said allow me to rewind to 2007 when I had another career decision to make: hold on to a large, steady paycheck as the vice president of a global PR firm or commit full-time to my growing writing and public speaking business. At the time I was doing some freelance writing and I interviewed the real-life Chris Gardner, the man who actor Will Smith portrayed in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness... Gardner told me the true story of how he spent nights in the bathroom of a subway station along with his 2-year-old son. In the daytime Gardner would put on his one suit, drop off his kid at daycare and take unpaid classes to become a stockbroker. You can guess how the story ends. Gardner rose to the top of his firm and became a multi-millionaire.

I knew the Oakland, California subway station Gardner had slept in because I passed it each day on my train trip into San Francisco. I had plenty of time to contemplate the advice he gave, words that changed the course of my career. “How did you find the strength, the spirit, to keep going?” I asked Gardner. “Carmine, here’s the secret to success: find something you love to do so much, you can’t wait for the sun to rise to do it all over again.”

Each day when I rode past the station I would think about those words. It forced me to question my choices and the daily trips into the city, which I dreaded. I wasn’t waiting for the sun to shine; I was waiting for it to go down so I could head home. I quit the PR firm, trading the stability of a salary for the instability of a start-up. Last week I was invited to BookExpo America, a prestigious book industry conference in New York, to sign copies of my sixth book. Gardner’s advice had changed my life and my business.

The most inspiring leaders are those who don’t work at a job but pursue a calling. In doing so they inspire the rest of us to be our best selves and to match our skills with our passions. They give us confidence to pursue our dreams.

Carmine Gallo

Homeless Man Turned Millionaire Offers The Best Advice I Ever Got. 6/11/2012. Forbes.

managing vs. leading

Companies manage complexity first by planning and budgeting-setting targets or goals for the future (typically for the next month or year),establishing detailed steps for achieving those targets, and then allocating resources to accomplish those plans. By contrast, leading an organization to constructive change begins by setting a direction - developing a vision ofthe future (often the distant future) along with strategies for producing the changes needed to achieve that vision.

Management develops the capacity to achieve its plan by organizing and staffing-creating an organizational structure and set of jobs for accomplishing plan requirements, staffing the jobs with qualified individuals, communicating the plan to those people, delegating responsibility for carrying out the plan, and devising systems to monitor implementation. The equivalent leadership activity, however, is aligning people. This means communicating the new direction to those who can create coalitions that understand the vision and are committed to its achievement.

Finally, management ensures plan accomplishment by controlling and problem solving – monitoring results versus the plan in some detail, both formally and informally, by means of reports, meetings, and other tools; identifying deviations; and then planning and organizing to solve the problems. But for leadership, achieving a vision requires motivating and inspiring – keeping people moving in the right direction, despite major obstacles to change, by appealing to basic but often untapped human needs, values, and emotions.

John P. Kotter
“What Leaders Really Do.” Harvard Business Review. 1990.

walk the talk

Although it is critical for the change leadership team to communicate with one voice, it is even more important that the change leaders walk their talk and model the behaviors they expect of others.

It is estimated that a leader’s actions are at least three times as important as what he or she says. Leaders need to display as much or more commitment to the change as the people they lead. People will assess what the leader does and doesn’t do to assess the commitment to the change. The minute that associates or colleagues sense that their leader is not committed or is acting inconsistently with the desired behaviors of the change, they will no longer commit themselves to the effort.

Ken Blanchard

Leading at a Higher Level: Blanchard on Leadership and Creating High Performing Organizations. FT Press. 2010.