your presence isn't really about you

So let's talk about Taylor Swift and the Super Bowl...

Swift was there, of course. For a while things looked tough for the Chiefs, until they won the game on a last-second touchdown pass in overtime.

Afterward, Swift made her way down to the field, where she reunited with Kelce....

I was curious what they would say to each other... But I also realized that it doesn't matter. What mattered much more is the fact that Swift was there.

Remember, in the days before the Super Bowl, one of the storylines was whether Swift would be able to make it to Las Vegas from Tokyo, where she had a concert Saturday evening, in time for the game...

The trip required Swift to leave immediately after her concert and fly for about 12 hours to Los Angeles, before a one-night stopover and then another hour flight to Las Vegas on Sunday. 

Obviously, Swift wasn't flying in the middle seat on a commercial flight, but it still took a significant effort. And, that effort is a statement...

Sometimes the thing that matters most is that you show up and support the people you care about when they're facing a challenge. 

So, you go to their games and performances. You applaud, you cheer; if they come up short, you're there for them.

You sit in on their presentations, if you're allowed; if not, you make sure to reach out to them and offer encouragement beforehand.

You stand by them in their hours of need. When they've fallen short at something, you tell them you still think they're great, and you believe in them, and they'll do better next time.

When they're sick or they have suffered a loss, you visit them in the hospital; you go to the funeral. 

You understand that your presence isn't really about you; it's about the other person. That's part of why you don't have to say very much sometimes, because being there speaks volumes. 

But if you're not there, you understand as a leader that the opposite is true, too: Your absence would speak volumes. 

Bill Murphy Jr.

"With Literally Zero Words, Taylor Swift Just Taught a Crucial Lesson in Leadership," Inc. Feb 12, 2024

life is not a treadmill, it's a garden

Life is not a treadmill. It's a garden. One to be created and nurtured and enjoyed, and, like all gardens, it's sometimes work and effort, too, but if you cannot bring yourself to love the work, you'll never truly love the garden.

Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself 2023 Day-to-Day Calendar: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. August 11

what would make it special?

Back in 2016, when Berry Aldridge was still just an intern and making thank-you calls to ticket purchasers, he was having trouble reaching a family, the Nunn family, who had bought eight tickets to the show. Finally, Berry got in touch with the father. He learned that the wife and mother had bought tickets for their seven kids to go to a game - and then she had tragically died.

Shocked and speechless, Berry managed to get out, "I'm so sorry to hear that," before ending the conversation. 

Then he walked into my office and told me the story. "What do we do?" he said.

Channeling Ken Silver, I replied, "What do you think?"

"Well, I'd really love to get the kids and dad out here and create something special for them," he said.

I agreed. "What ideas do you have? What would make it special?"

As it turned out, Berry had plenty of ideas - and he was ready to put them into action, planning the whole night for the Nunn family all on his own. When the family arrived on the night of the game, Berry seated them in the front row and had all the players come and deliver autographed bats and balls and hang out with the family for about a half hour before the game. Then Berry presented the dad with a jersey with his wife's name. Its number was the number of years they'd been married.

After the game, Berry and the father were chatting a little more, and the father shared that these Bananas tickets were the last gift his wife had given their kids - and he couldn't have imagined a better gift! Without Berry, the family might never have come to the game. Thanks to Berry's effort, the family was able to make that last gift - the last story of their wife and mother - special.

Imagine what your business would look like if your interns or new hires brought the same level of care and agency to their work - all because they were empowered to think for themselves. What amazing things would you be able to do for your fans?

Jesse Cole

Fans First: Change The Game, Break the Rules & Create an Unforgettable Experience by Jesse Cole. Lioncrest. 2022.

prioritized change

Prioritized change means leaders show employees where to invest their energy by communicating their backlog of priorities, including change initiatives. Without such guidance, employees are likely to give 110% for each change, resulting in a blowout.

Many leadership teams already rank the most important organizational projects and initiatives, but that knowledge often isn’t shared beyond leadership team discussions. Communicating this more broadly can help teams more effectively manage their energy and efforts.

Cian O Morain and Peter Aykens

"Employees Are Losing Patience with Change Initiatives," Harvard Business Review. May 9, 2023

a word after a word after a word is power

Margaret Atwood, the prolific author of eighteen books of poetry, eighteen novels, eleven books of nonfiction, nine collections of short fiction, and eight children's books, once wrote, "A word after a word after a word is power." Even rubbish words are more powerful than a blank page. In fact, they are much more powerful, because there can be no magnum opus later without those rubbish words now. 

So if you are feeling overwhelmed by an essential project because you think you have to produce something flawless from the outset, simply lower the bar to start. Whether it's writing a book, composing a song, painting a canvas, or any other creative pursuit that calls to you, inspiration flows from the courage to start with rubbish. 

By embracing imperfection, by having the courage to be rubbish, we can begin. And once we begin, we become a little less rubbish, and then a little less. And eventually, out of the rubbish comes exceptional, effortless breakthroughs in the things that matter.

Greg McKeown

Effortless: Make it Easier to do what Matters Most. By Greg McKeown. Random House. 2021. p. 132. Also watch Margaret Atwood: A Word After a Word After a Word is Power, Hulu.

as if the muse is convinced

When I am writing, I write. And then it's as if the muse is convinced I'm serious and says 'Okay, Okay. I'll come.

Maya Angelou

Effortless: Make it Easier to do what Matters Most. By Greg McKeown. Random House. 2021. p. 132

then by all means paint

I know the soul's struggle of two people: Am I a painter or not? Of Rappard and of myself - a struggle, hard sometimes, a struggle which accurately marks the difference between us and certain other people who take things less seriously; as for us, we feel wretched at times; but each bit of melancholy brings a little light, a little progress; certain other people have less trouble, work more easily perhaps, but then their personal character develops less. You, too, would have that struggle, and I tell you, don't forget that you are in danger of being upset by people who undoubtedly have the very best intentions.

If you hear a voice within you saying, “You are not a painter,” then by all means paint, boy, and that voice will be silenced, but only by working. He who goes to trends and tells his troubles when he feels like that loses part of his manliness, part of the best that's in him; your friends can only be those who themselves struggle against it, who raise your activity by their own example of action. One must undertake it with confidence, with a certain assurance that one is doing a reasonable thing, like the farmer drives his plough, or like our friend in the scratch below, who is harrowing, and even drags the harrow himself. If one hasn't a horse, one is one's own horse - many people do so here.

Vincent Van Gogh

Letter from Vincent van Gogh to Theo van Gogh. Drenthe, 28 October 1883. Van Gogh's Letters: Unabridged & Annotated. As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World.

how we can be more helpful to others

A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. You can use this material to blame just as well as you can use anything else. Merely knowing the material doesn't get you out of the box. Living it does. And we're not living it if we're using it to diagnose others. Rather, we're living it when we're using it to learn how we can be more helpful to others...

Knowing the material

• Self-betrayal leads to self-deception and "the box."
• When you're in the box, you can't focus on results.
• Your influence and success will depend on being out of the box.
• You get out of the box as you cease resisting other people.

Living the material

• Don't try to be perfect. Do try to be better.
• Don't use the vocabulary - "the box," and so on - with people who don't already know it. Do use the principles in your own life.
• Don't look for others' boxes. Do look for your own.
• Don't accuse others of being in the box. Do try to stay out of the box yourself.
• Don't give up on yourself when you discover you've been in the box. Do keep trying.
• Don't deny you've been in the box when you have been. Do apologize, then just keep marching forward, trying to be more helpful to others in the future. 
• Don't focus on what others are doing wrong. Do focus on what you can do right to help.
• Don't worry whether others are helping you. Do worry whether you are helping others.

Leadership and Self-deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute. Berrett-Koehler. 2002. p.165,166

lift where you stand

Some years ago in our meetinghouse in Darmstadt, Germany, a group of brethren was asked to move a grand piano from the chapel to the adjoining cultural hall, where it was needed for a musical event. None were professional movers, and the task of getting that gravity-friendly instrument through the chapel and into the cultural hall seemed nearly impossible. Everybody knew that this task required not only physical strength but also careful coordination. There were plenty of ideas, but not one could keep the piano balanced correctly. They repositioned the brethren by strength, height, and age over and over again—nothing worked.

As they stood around the piano, uncertain of what to do next, a good friend of mine, Brother Hanno Luschin, spoke up. He said, “Brethren, stand close together and lift where you stand.”

It seemed too simple. Nevertheless, each lifted where he stood, and the piano rose from the ground and moved into the cultural hall as if on its own power. That was the answer to the challenge. They merely needed to stand close together and lift where they stood.

I have often thought of Brother Luschin’s simple idea and have been impressed by its profound truth.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “Lift Where You Stand,” Ensign, Nov 2008, 53–56

change your mindset

 

all politics is personal

I believe all politics is personal, because at bottom, politics depends on trust, and unless you can establish a personal relationship, it's awfully hard to build trust.... I have always followed my father's advice: Never tell a man what his interests are. Be straight and open with him about your own interests. And try to put yourself in his shoes. Try to understand his hopes and his limitations, and never insist that he do something you know he cannot. It's really just about making the effort to make a personal connection.

Joe Biden

Promise Me, Dad: A Year of Hope, Hardship, and Purpose. By Joe Biden. Flatiron Books. 2017. Preface. 129

the world's greatest lie

What's the world's greatest lie? It's this: that at a certain point in our lives, we lose control of what's happening to us, and our lives become controlled by fate.

Paulo Coelho

The Alchemist, HarperCollins 1993. p.18

I read books

You can become an expert in just about anything if you read enough books on the subject. If you don't believe me, ask Elon Musk. Whenever anyone asks him how he learned to build space-traveling rockets, this is his three-word answer: "I read books...."

Want to read your way to success yourself? Begin with a growth mindset -- the belief that your abilities are not fixed in stone but can change over time, and that you can expand and change them if you're willing to put in the effort....

And finally, put that expertise to the test. Dan Coyle, who's written several bestselling books about what makes some individuals, and some teams, more successful than others, recommends spending 30 percent of your time learning and 70 percent testing your newfound knowledge. So, to cement your expertise, test your own knowledge, preferably by trying things out in the real world.

That's what Musk did when he began building rockets, several of which crashed or went off-course before he and his team figured out how to fly them reliably. This summer, NASA trusted SpaceX rockets to send astronauts into space from the U.S. for the first time in nine years. It's a huge achievement, and it all began with a big stack of borrowed textbooks. 

Minda Zetlin

"In Just 3 Words, Elon Musk Explained How You Can Become Expert at Anything (Even Rocket Science)," Inc. Oct. 31, 2020

straight conversations

 

I think the first 3:25 seconds of this interview is powerful. Here's an excerpt from the transcript:

Reporter: Following the huge win against the Pelicans we saw this team take to the court, take the locker room, go to the weight room – and that was after a big win. What has this team’s emotion and reaction been like after the Clipper’s loss?

Coach Monty Williams: It’s been the same approach…. One of the culture pieces we’ve tried to implement is we don’t let win’s and losses dictate the atmosphere and the culture we feel like we are establishing…. That’s something that I’ve learned over the years, I cannot change – no matter what happens on the floor our gym stays the same. We want everybody here excited about coming to work, and I think that allows for us to have a level of consistency in how we approach development. The most important thing is that people are excited to come to work. Nothing changed. Yesterday was the same as any other day…. We teach, we grow, we get after it. 

Reporter: You’ve been preaching staying in that middle ground for a while now. When did that mentality really set in for you?... Why is that such a key in order to get this team where you want them to go? 

Coach: …Listening to the guys that I had coached before, they didn’t always feel excited about coming to work because they thought that I was going to push them in a way that diminished their talents. I really had to take a deep look at my approach. It was one of my prayers that if God ever gave me a chance to be a head coach again I wanted to be excited about work everyday myself, but I also wanted the players to have the same feeling – when they got up out of the bed they felt really good about coming to work…. I had some straight, black and white conversations with guys that I coached, and what I heard back – I was ashamed to be honest with you. I didn’t realize it and that’s why the communication with those guys was really important for my growth. 

Monty Williams

Post-Practice Media Availability. 1/5/2021. https://www.facebook.com/suns/videos/163428998468163

throw yourself like seed

Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit

sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate

that brushes your heel as it turns going by,

the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant.

Now you are only giving food to that final pain

which is slowly winding you in the nets of death,

but to live is to work, and the only thing which lasts

is the work; start then, turn to the work.

Throw yourself like seed as you walk, and into your own field,

don't turn your face for that would be to turn it to death,

and do not let the past weigh down your motion.

Leave what's alive in the furrow, what's dead in yourself,

for life does not move in the same way as a group of clouds;

from your work you will be able one day to gather yourself.

Miguel De Unamuno 

Translated by Robert Bly. Roots & Wings: Poetry from Spain 1900-1975. Hardie St. Martin, Editor. Harper & Row. 1976. p.19

what is above knows

You cannot stay on the summit forever; you have to come down again. So why bother in the first place? Just this: What is above knows what is below, but what is below does not know what is above. One climbs, one sees. One descends, one sees no longer, but one has seen. There is an art of conducting oneself in the lower regions by the memory of what one saw higher up. When one can no longer see, one can at least still know. 

René Daumal

A Night of Serious Drinking.  1979. Shambhala.

a moment of pain

A lifetime of glory is worth a moment of pain.

Louis Zamperini

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption by Laura Hillenbrand. Random House. 2010. 496 pages.

the other side of hard

"Monty [Williams] always says a quote, 'Everything you want is on the other side of hard,' " [Devin] Booker said. "I've took that quote and embraced it. He never put a definite explanation on what hard is, but I think he said that for you mentally, hold yourself accountable when you’re feeling a step slow, or your back's hurting or something’s bothering you or the ref makes a bad call, you have to take it in and next play."

Booker admits it's not easy, but he sees value in that approach to the game.

"I might want to go say something to a ref or I might to go take a bad shot or something like that, but everything you want is on the other side of hard," Booker concluded.

Duane Rankin

"Devin Booker still growing, leading — and finally winning with Phoenix Suns." The Arizona Republic. November 5, 2019

seemingly are small jobs

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.

Dale Carnegie

Power U: Seven Keys to Finding Purpose and Achieving Success by S.M. Croucher. iUniverse. 2014. 

one great thing

Remember this: there is no one great thing that you can do which will determine your happiness or success in life. Life is a series of little things-how you do your work from day to day, personal honesty in your everyday contacts, a smile and a handshake, courtesy and kindness-these are the "little things" that become the sum of your character. 

Ezra Taft Benson

The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1988], 462.