"The Secret to Leading Organizational Change Is Empathy," Harvard Business Review. December 20, 2018
In the monthly "performance call,"... [the leader], his COO, and his CFO began hosting Monday-morning conference calls of the company's roughly top 150 leaders. These calls are essentially an ongoing operating review, in which the company's performance for the previous month and the year to date is compared with the commitments people have made. The calls provide early warning of problems and instill a sense of urgency. People who fall short have to explain why, and what they are going to do about it....
At one of the first meetings, [Dick Brown, CEO of EDS] recalls, "one of the executives made the statement that he was worried about growing anxiety and unrest in his organization, worried about rapid and dramatic change. His people were asking, 'Are we moving too fast, are we on the threshold of being reckless? Maybe we should slow down, take it easy, reflect a bit.'"
Brown turned the issue around - not incidentally, creating a forceful coaching lesson. "I jumped all over that. 'This is a test of leadership,' I said. 'I would like anybody on this call who is really worried about where we are going and worried about the fact that we will probably fail, tell me so right now. Don't be afraid to say you are. If you think we're making a big mistake and heading for the reef, speak up now.'
"No one did. So I said, 'If you're not worried, where's the worry coming from? I'm not worried, and you're not worried. Here's where it is: some of you say one thing, and your body language says another. You show me an organization that's wringing its hands, listening to rumors, anxious about the future, and I will show you leadership that behaves the same way. People imitate their leaders. If your organization is worried, you've got a problem, because you said you're not.'
"And I put it right back on that. 'Here's your test of leadership; now calm your organization, give them information; strike right at the heart of their worries. I can't believe that their worry is fact-based. I believe their worry is ignorance-based. And if that's the case, it's your fault.'"
Execution: The Discipline of Getting Things Done by Larry Bossidy & Ram Charan with Charles Burck. 2002. Crown Business, NY, NY. p. 48-50
You are the architect of fear. It's coming from you, and your blind insistence that you should somehow not be fearful only reinforces that fear.
Look, your problem is not a fear of failure itself, but a fear of being seen to fail.
Unfu*k Yourself 2023 Day-to-Day Calendar: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. January 28/29
It’s all about action. Going out there, doing it, and taking all your negative bullshit along for the ride. It’s never going to get any better, any easier, or any more understandable. This is it, life is now and you’re never going to have a better moment than this.
Don’t know what to do or where to start? Good, that’s your first action. Find out, understand. Trawl the internet, read books, ask questions, take courses, seek advice, do whatever you need to do to unfu*k yourself and get into your life…
“Action may not bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action.” – Benjamin Disraeli
Gary John Bishop
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.135
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.131
Like plenty of other things in our lives, part of our aversion to uncertainty comes from our fear of being judged by others. We are, in a very real way, afraid of what the tribe thinks and the prospect of being thrown out into the mystery and uncertainty of the wild.
If we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations, maybe we’ll
look awkward. People will think we’re “weird.” If we push out limits and try to
achieve new things, maybe we’ll fail. People will think we’re a “failure.”
“If you want to improve, be content
to be thought foolish and stupid.” – Epictetus
You’re never going to achieve your true potential if you’re
hooked by what other people think. In fact, you could change your life
overnight if you simply abandoned the notion that other people’s opinions
matter. Life goes on, opinion-heavy or opinion-lite.
Gary John Bishop
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.108, 109
Here are the kinds of things you'll hear truly confident people say.
1. "I wouldn't worry about it."
Go to a confident friend with a list of "what-ifs" or reasons why something may turn out badly and you'll likely hear this kind of reassurance. It's because confident people generally don't worry. They understand that even if something goes wrong, they can handle it. It's the persistent feeling that regardless of what happens--good or bad--they will cope.
2. "Go for it."
Along with a lack of anxiety comes a sense of optimism. Truly confident people expect good things to happen. At the same time, their track record of making good decisions means they also possess the ability to temper their positivity with realistic thinking.
3. "Doing it this way works for me."
Confident individuals don't feel compelled to conform to gain acceptance from others. This is the central beauty of confidence--the calm self-assurance that makes others want to follow.
4. "Why not me?"
Instead of waiting around for the next opportunity, confident people seek it out. Maybe it's building the right relationships, asking for a promotion or otherwise taking a leap of faith. These people have a vision for the future and chart their own path to get there.
5. "I need to say something."
Confident people take a stand when it comes to matters of right and wrong yet possess the wisdom to understand which battles are worth fighting. That said, they'll back down graciously if proved wrong, because they're secure enough to consider viewpoints other than their own.
6. "Tell me more."
Confident people listen far more than they talk, are naturally curious, and express a genuine interest in others. Conversely, those who monopolize conversations or brag (ever) have something to prove and are masking insecurity.
7. "Can you help me?"
Everyone has weaknesses, but the self-assured are not afraid to admit them. Instead of worrying what others will think if they ask for help, confident people are more concerned with self-improvement, gaining valuable skills, and performing a job well.
"7 Things Confident People Always Say," Inc.com. June 24, 2016
Dean Ornish, a professor of medicine at the University of California at San Francisco and founder of the Preventive Medicine Research Institute, decided to reframe the underlying mind-set beneath the patients’ narratives. He wanted to change it from “If I behave this way, I won’t die” (fear driven) to “If I behave this way, my life will be filled with joy” (hope driven). In his words, “Telling people who are lonely and depressed that they’re going to live longer if they quit smoking or change their diet and lifestyle is not that motivating. Who wants to live longer when you’re in chronic emotional pain?” How much better would they feel, he thought, if they could enjoy the pleasures of daily life without suffering any pain or discomfort? In his experiment, 77 percent of his patients managed to make permanent changes in their lifestyles, compared with a normal success rate of 10 percent.
Just having a solution that is technically "right" does not guarantee that employees will make the necessary changes to their behaviors and work processes. Employee commitment, buy-in, and adoption do not stem from the rightness of the solution, but rather from the employees moving through their own change process. It takes more than the right solution to move employees out of the current state that they know and into the future state they do not know (and sometimes fear).
Jeffrey M. Hiatt & Timothy J. Creasey
Based on Prosci's change management research report with 650 participants, employees prefer two primary senders of change messages. Not surprisingly, they also prefer specific message content from each of these senders. Immediate supervisors are the preferred senders of messages related to personal impact including:
When it comes to business issues and why the change is needed, receivers want to hear from the person in charge.
Name It to Tame It is a technique that involves noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening. Identifying an intense emotion (“naming”) has the effect of reducing the stress and anxiety (“taming”) in the brain and the body that that emotion is causing.
In addition to in-the-moment relief, this practice also strengthens our capacity over time to be with big emotions when they arise, without getting swept up in them.
This technique was first identified by Dr. Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist, writer, and professor who is also the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA...
Throughout my career, I always had great respect for the British Special Air Service, the famed SAS. The SAS motto was "Who Dares Wins." The motto was so widely admired that even moments before the bin Laden raid, my Command Sergeant Major, Chris Faris, quoted it to the SEALs preparing for the mission. To me the motto was more than about how the British special forces operated as a unit; it was about how each of us should approach our lives.
Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what is truly possible in your life.
Admiral William H. McRaven (U.S. Navy Retired)
Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life... and Maybe the World. Grand Central Publishing. 2017. p.63
Frightened of change? But what can exist without it? What’s closer to nature’s heart? Can you take a hot bath and leave the firewood as it was? Eat food without transforming it? Can any vital process take place without something being changed?
Can’t you see? It’s just the same with you – and just as vital to nature.
I wish I could say that the need to improve listening skills and less-than-perfect coordination happened only in the past. But the tragic sinking of a Japanese fishing boat off Honolulu by the submarine USS Greenville suggests otherwise. The moment I heard about it, I was reminded that, as is often the case with accidents, someone senses possible danger but doesn't necessarily speak up. As the Greenville investigation unfolded, I read in a New York Times article that the submarine's crew "respected the commanding officer too much to question his judgement." If that's respect, then I want none of it. You need to have people in your organization that can tap you on your shoulder and say, "Is this the best way?" or "Slow down," or "Think about this," or "Is what we are doing worth killing or injuring somebody?"
It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.91,92
Suffer, survive or thrive in organizational culture? - Leadership & Change Magazine
Ronda Rousey
Rowdy Rousey: Ronda Rousey's Fight to the Top by Mike Straka. Triumph Books. 2015. As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World.
Call It Courage by Armstrong Sperry, Simon and Schuster 1940
Only the curious have something to find.
Sean Watkins
Song lyrics can be surprising sources of insight, just like this line from Nickel Creek’s song “This Side” (written by band member Sean Watkins) off their 2002 album of the same name. The track chronicles the story of a person experiencing things for the first time, including all the fear that comes along with change. Slowly, the person becomes more comfortable and can explore new opportunities with confidence. It inspires us to approach the world through a lens of curiosity — to strike out and find and do new things. Because if we remain at home, in a place where we’re comfortable, we’ll never discover anything bigger or find the courage to be comfortable with anything else.
Daily Inspiration. March 27, 2021. Inspiring Quotes.
Move and the way will open. – ZEN PROVERB
At the start of many important endeavors, you’ll often think: How can I do this? I don’t even know enough to begin. It’s a common excuse, and it’s often a mask for cowardice. When we say that we don’t know what to do, it’s often not information we’re lacking, but courage.
When we begin, we sometimes lack the skills, knowledge, and experience to carry out even the most basic tasks. Of course we do. If we had the experience we needed, we’d already be done.
Not knowing everything cannot be an excuse for not doing anything.
Resilience: Hard-won Wisdom for Living a Better Life by Eric Greitens. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2015. p.39, 47
