your capacity for forgiveness is infinite

Your capacity for forgiveness is infinite. Your willingness for it is where you get stuck.

Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself 2023 Day-to-Day Calendar: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. September 12

having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay

When I started working at Wal-Mart in West Texas, we would anticipate a store visit by the chairman with the same sense you get when you're going to meet a great athlete, or a movie star, or a head of state. But once he comes in the store, that feeling of awe is overcome by a sort of kinship. He is a master at erasing that 'larger-than-life' feeling that people have for him. How many heads of state always start the conversation by wanting to know what you think? What's on your mind?

After a visit, everyone in the store has no doubt that he genuinely appreciates our contributions, no matter how insignificant. Every associate feels like he or she does make a difference. It's almost like having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay. He never lets us down.

Andy Sims, Manager, Wal-Mart No. 1, Rogers, Arkansas

Sam Walton, Made in America by Sam Walton & John Huey. Bantam Books. 1992. p. 140, 141

less afraid of being wrong

Two things about Sam Walton distinguish him from almost everyone else I know. First, he gets up every day bound and determined to improve something. Second, he is less afraid of being wrong than anyone I've ever known. And once he sees he's wrong, he just shakes it off and heads in another direction.

David Glass

Sam Walton, Made in America by Sam Walton & John Huey. Bantam Books. 1992. p. 39

ontological humility

Fred Kofman wrote a great chapter called Ontological Humility in his book Conscious Business. Here’s an excerpt:

Ontological humility is the acknowledgement that you do not have a special claim on reality or truth and, that others have equally valid perspectives deserving respect and consideration. This attitude is opposed to ontological arrogance, which is the claim that your truth is the only truth.

Even though it may make sense intellectually that people have different perspectives, most people do not naturally act from this understanding, especially in the midst of disagreement or conflict.

When you remember your criticism may be wrong, you’ll offer it more humbly. You will challenge others in a way that invites a reciprocal challenge, and you’ll be more likely to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Kim Scott

"How to give humble feedback," by Kim Scott. Radical Candor. Accessed August 17, 2022

he always GETS it right

Andy Grove once told me, over a cup of Jamocha Almond Fudge ice cream at Baskin Robbins in Los Altos, “F*@&ing Steve Jobs always gets it right.”

“Nobody’s always right,” I said.

“I didn’t say Steve IS always right. I said he always GETS it right. Like anyone, he is wrong all the time, but he insists, and not gently either, that people tell him when he’s wrong, so he always gets it right in the end.”

I thought a lot about this conversation over the next couple of years. I think Andy was exactly right: a big part of Steve Jobs’s genius came from his willingness to be proven wrong. Here’s how he described it in his own words:

Jobs: I don’t mind being wrong. And I’ll admit that I’m wrong a lot. It doesn’t really matter to me too much. What matters to me is that we do the right thing. Watch the video >>

In other words, you don’t have to grovel or pretend to be worse than you are. You just need to accept the possibility that whatever you’re saying may be wrong. Don’t be arrogant. Be curious.

Kim Scott

"How to give humble feedback," by Kim Scott. Radical Candor. Accessed August 17, 2022

accept his smallness

No one can grow if he does not accept his smallness.

Pope Francis

The Name of God Is Mercy by Pope Francis. Random House. 2016. As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World. 

approaching nervous breakdown

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

Bertrand Russell

The Conquest of Happiness

WD > WS

Monty Williams is a man of many sayings. Some of them, like, “Well done is better than well said,” have made it onto hats. Others sneak into his answers in press conferences (“Reps remove doubt”), and still more have been relayed to Suns players so often over the past two seasons that they show up in those players’ own responses (“Preparation meets opportunity”). But there are also some staples of Williams’s lexicon that don’t count as sayings, yet may be even more indicative of how he approaches both basketball and life.

If you watched Williams’s media appearances throughout the playoffs, you found that he has no problem saying “I don’t know” in response to a difficult question; he said it 17 times during the Finals alone. You also saw that when Williams is asked something that requires perspective, he will make sure to mention how “grateful” he is or how much “gratitude” he has to be in this position—he used those words in answers 18 times during the series, including when talking about how he still gets excited when he gets fresh gear.

Six of those 18 mentions came on Tuesday night, mere minutes after Williams’s Suns had lost Game 6 of the Finals—and an NBA championship—to the Milwaukee Bucks.

“It’s a blur for me right now,” Williams said, talking about the game’s fourth quarter. “I’m just thankful that God allowed me to be in this position to be the head coach in the Finals. It hurts badly, but I’m also grateful that we had this chance to play for a championship. I’m just grateful for that part.”

Paolo Uggetti

"The Suns’ Future Is Bright, As Long As They Have Monty Williams" The Ringer. July 22, 2021

leadership that pulls

For fourteen years, my father conducted one of the country’s leading amateur Bach choirs in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. For a few of those years, I played in the orchestra and had the opportunity to watch his work up close.

My father’s voice was so soft it was often hard to hear in normal conversation, and on a crowded stage, practically impossible. Yet I noticed that when he spoke during rehearsals, not a single musician ever missed a word. Why not? Because when he began speaking, they would grow so quiet a dropped pin would have sounded like the cannonfire in the 1812 Overture.

He would speak — and everyone would lean in, craning to hear his every word.

He pulled them in.

I saw the most cynical, don’t-tell-me New York union musicians turn into putty when my father made a suggestion to start this passage with an up-bow, or to take that passage sotto voce so we could more clearly hear the tenors. People would turn themselves inside out to follow him — and they would follow him anywhere.

There were two reasons for this. First was that he was superb at what he did. He knew this music inside and out; it was in his bones; it was his life.

And second? He treated them with absolute respect. He didn’t tell them what to do; he collaborated with them…

Take an ordinary window fan and place it in a window, blowing inward. Switch it on. How far can you push a column of air into the room? Not far: within a few feet it starts doubling back on itself. But now, reverse the fan’s position so that it is blowing out — and you can pull that column of air all the way from a single open window clear on the other side of the house, even hundreds of feet away.

There is leadership that pushes. And there is leadership that pulls.

How far can you push people? Only so far. How far can you pull them? An awfully long way, if your leadership style embraces total respect for those you lead as its foundation.

When that second kind of leadership speaks — even when in a voice as soft as my father’s — people listen, because they feel valued, and because of that, they trust.

That kind of leadership, we’ll follow anywhere.

John David Mann

"Leadership That Pulls," Huffpost. April 30, 2016

the humble spirit

One of the marks of great leadership always has been and ever will be the humble spirit.

Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Ezra Taft Benson by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 2014. Chapter 19: Leadership. 371.

these little minute things

I am always for the consideration of these little minute things that concern us to-day. We should always be engaged in doing the things that belong to to-day. There is but one course that you and I can pursue and be right, and that is, to be sufficiently humble to look at the most minute fibers. The large roots of a tree receive their nourishment through the little fibers, and they receive it from the fountain; and then that nourishment is sent through the mains trunk of the tree into the limbs, branches, and twigs. 

Heber C. Kimball

Journal of Discourses, Vol.8, p.328

the humility mantra

I begin with humility, I act with humility, I end with humility. Humility leads to clarity. Humility leads to an open mind and a forgiving heart. With an open mind and a forgiving heart, I see every person as superior to me in some way; with every person as my teacher, I grow in wisdom. As I grow in wisdom, humility becomes ever more my guide. I begin with humility, I act with humility, I end with humility. 

Resilience: Hard-won Wisdom for Living a Better Life by Eric Greitens. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2015. p.33

if

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

If by Rudyard Kipling

Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)

what is humility?

Some suppose that humility is about beating ourselves up. Humility does not mean convincing ourselves that we are worthless, meaningless, or of little value... We don’t discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; we discover humility by thinking less about ourselves. It comes as we go about our work with an attitude of serving...

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Pride and the Priesthood," October 2010 General Conference

truth vs. embarrassment

When [Head Coach Monty] Williams was asked how he has evolved since New Orleans, he didn’t shy away from being honest.

“I thought I had the answers,” he said. “I was a lot younger, probably more brash, more stubborn. Now I’m starting to figure out the questions. I’m probably in a place in my life where I’m more apt to listen and delegate more.”

Williams had a reputation for butting heads and it sounds like he’s grown from that.

“I understand the difference between telling someone the truth and embarrassing them and that [used to be] one of my flaws in New Orleans,” he said.

Kellan Olson

"Suns’ Monty Williams always adopting concepts, adapting coaching style," Arizona Sports. May 21, 2019

their full share of credit

There are many men in this world who have been over-estimated all the days of their lives, and others who have never had their full share of credit.

Heber J. Grant

Gospel Standards, p.186

there are no bad teams, only bad leaders

When Leif Babin became a Hell Week instructor for Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training (BUD/S), he had already served as a Navy SEAL platoon leader in the most decorated special-operations unit of the Iraq War.

Still, he learned a profound lesson about leadership: "There are no bad teams, only bad leaders..."

In one exercise, Babin explained, SEAL candidates were grouped by height into boat crews of seven men and assigned to a WWII-relic inflatable boat that weighed more than 200 pounds. The most senior-ranking sailor became the boat-crew leader responsible for receiving, transmitting, and overseeing the execution of the lead instructor's orders. They were to go through a grueling string of races that involved running with the boat and then paddling it in the ocean.

After several rounds, one particular team came in first and another in last nearly every time. The instructors decided to switch the leaders of the best and worst teams, and the results were remarkable. Under new leadership, the formerly great team did relatively well but was a shadow of its past self, and the formerly terrible team placed first in nearly every race.

The once-great team had practiced enough with each other to accomplish something even under bad management, but the bad leader was unable to command respect or maintain synchronicity.

Meanwhile, the excellent leader had taken his new team from last to first by getting them to believe that they were just as capable as his former team, and that bickering with each other during the exercise would not be tolerated...

"One of the things that I learned from that boat-crew example is that most people want to lead," Babin said. "The team that was failing there, they didn't want to be on the failing team. They wanted to win. ... It's about checking the ego — it's about being humble, to recognize what can I do better to lead my team."


Richard Feloni
"Former Navy SEAL commanders explain why 'there are no bad teams, only bad leaders'" Business Insider. October 1, 2016

be humble and grounded

Ron Nessen, who served as press secretary for President Gerald Ford, shared a story about his boss's leadership style: "He had a dog, Liberty. Liberty has an accident on the rug in the Oval Office and one of the Navy stewards rushes in to clean it up. Jerry Ford says, "I'll do that. No man ought to clean up after another man's dog."

Laszlo Bock

"Work Rules! Insights From Inside Google That Will Transform How You Live and Lead", 2015, Hatchette Book Group, page 126.

humble people

There's an allure about humble people. They exude greater power, influence and persuasion than their overly-talkative brethren because, well, nobody likes hearing the same voice time and again. If you're compelled to speak for fear of not being heard otherwise, then the greater question is “Why does that fear exist?” There needs to be a firm foundation of trust to be heard so everybody knows their best interests are held. Without trust, the tendency is to shy away from we and instead focus on me. Not ideal.

Jeff Boss

"These Leadership Lessons From The SEAL Teams Are Universal For Any Industry" Forbes. Mar. 2, 2017

seemingly are small jobs

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones tend to take care of themselves.

Dale Carnegie

Power U: Seven Keys to Finding Purpose and Achieving Success by S.M. Croucher. iUniverse. 2014.