things truly confident people say

Here are the kinds of things you'll hear truly confident people say.

1. "I wouldn't worry about it."

Go to a confident friend with a list of "what-ifs" or reasons why something may turn out badly and you'll likely hear this kind of reassurance. It's because confident people generally don't worry. They understand that even if something goes wrong, they can handle it. It's the persistent feeling that regardless of what happens--good or bad--they will cope.

2. "Go for it."

Along with a lack of anxiety comes a sense of optimism. Truly confident people expect good things to happen. At the same time, their track record of making good decisions means they also possess the ability to temper their positivity with realistic thinking.

3. "Doing it this way works for me."

Confident individuals don't feel compelled to conform to gain acceptance from others. This is the central beauty of confidence--the calm self-assurance that makes others want to follow.

4. "Why not me?"

Instead of waiting around for the next opportunity, confident people seek it out. Maybe it's building the right relationships, asking for a promotion or otherwise taking a leap of faith. These people have a vision for the future and chart their own path to get there.   

5. "I need to say something."

Confident people take a stand when it comes to matters of right and wrong yet possess the wisdom to understand which battles are worth fighting. That said, they'll back down graciously if proved wrong, because they're secure enough to consider viewpoints other than their own.

6. "Tell me more."

Confident people listen far more than they talk, are naturally curious, and express a genuine interest in others. Conversely, those who monopolize conversations or brag (ever) have something to prove and are masking insecurity.

7. "Can you help me?"

Everyone has weaknesses, but the self-assured are not afraid to admit them. Instead of worrying what others will think if they ask for help, confident people are more concerned with self-improvement, gaining valuable skills, and performing a job well. 

Christina Desmarias

"7 Things Confident People Always Say," Inc.com. June 24, 2016

the stockdale paradox

Admiral James Stockdale, a pilot whose plane was shot down over Vietnam in 1965… observed that the POWs who broke the fastest were those who deluded themselves about the severity of their ordeal. They imagined that they would be freed next week, or next month, or by Christmas. But he lasted unbroken for seven and a half years because, in part, he refused to lie to himself.

Here’s how he explained the Stockdale Paradox: “You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

Resilience: Hard-won Wisdom for Living a Better Life by Eric Greitens. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. 2015. p.30

people resist in response to something

Organizational change expert Rick Maurer explains, “There [aren’t] ‘resisters’ out there just waiting to ruin our otherwise perfect intervention. People resist in response to something. The people resisting probably don’t see it as resistance; they see it as survival.” Critical voices are important and ultimately essential in breaking through superficiality and developing the thinking needed to wrestle with trade-offs successfully. Many times, in side conversations, people have told us stories about speaking up out of a sense of accountability, realism, or integrity.

Maya Townsend and Elizabeth Doty

"The road to successful change is lined with trade-offs," strategy+business. November 2, 2020.

creating a vision

In our experience, the hardest part of creating a vision is finding the balance between what is bold and transformational and what is realistic and achievable. The phrase many use for this is landing on a vision that is “tough but doable.” If the vision feels too incremental, cautious, or overly tailored to existing capabilities, it will fail to create momentum or pressure for an organization to push the limits of what is possible and therefore won’t lead to breakthroughs. At the same time, if people see goals as simply “pie in the sky” and beyond reach, they will become disillusioned and give up. 

Often, examining the “art of the possible” can help find the sweet spot. For example, ask what performance would look like if every area operated at the level of the current best practice within the company? What if all of our processes and systems were operating at the top of their technical limits? What if we achieved best practice in the industry on not one, but all key measures?... By considering the art of the possible in this way, leaders can aim high without the goal feeling untethered to reality. 

When managers are planning two or three years ahead, that period is close enough in time to allow them to choose relevant goals and identify specific initiatives to reach them. 

There are advantages in having objectives distant enough to reduce any temptation to rob tomorrow to pay for today – a constant battle for public companies under pressure to achieve quarterly results. 

Scott Keller and Bill Schaninger

Beyond Performance 2.0: A Proven Approach to Leading Large-Scale Change. John Wiley & Sons, Inc. 2019