encourage understanding and peace

I believe that all of us in this mortal journey have been hurt by some form of humiliating, degrading, or discouraging language from a family member, a colleague at work, a friend, or even a fellow member of the Church.

There are expressions and words that can damage relationships and therefore need to be forgone in our communication. Examples include: “You are useless.” “You are stupid.” “You never do anything right.” “What is wrong with you?” “This is all your fault.” “You always mess things up.” “You never listen.” “You caused this problem.” “Leave me alone.” “I do not care.” “I do not need you in my life.” “I do not care about you.” “Just stop talking.” “I am tired of you.” The list could go on. Such words never edify. They weaken love, diminish respect, and damage relationships.

Rather than choosing words and language that escalate feelings of anger, disappointment, and frustration, let us use words that encourage understanding and peace. We must choose language that strengthens confidence and preserves relationships. Words such as: “Please.” “Thank you.” “I appreciate that.” “I respect your view.” “This is a good point.” “Let us slow down and talk.” “We can work this out.” “It is OK.” “Let us stay calm.” “We don’t have to rush.” “I care about you.” “I am here for you.” “You are not alone.” “How are you feeling?” “That matters to me.” “I’m sorry.” “Please forgive me.” “I forgive you.” “Let us start again.” “I don’t want this to divide us.”

Elder Alfred Kyungu, Of the Seventy

"Using the Language of Peacemakers," General Conference, October 3, 2026

name it to tame it

Name It to Tame It is a technique that involves noticing and labeling emotions as they’re happening. Identifying an intense emotion (“naming”) has the effect of reducing the stress and anxiety (“taming”) in the brain and the body that that emotion is causing.

In addition to in-the-moment relief, this practice also strengthens our capacity over time to be with big emotions when they arise, without getting swept up in them.

This technique was first identified by Dr. Daniel Siegel, a psychiatrist, writer, and professor who is also the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center at UCLA...

Practicing this technique effectively involves being aware of your body, speaking compassionately to yourself, and using deep, slow breathing.

When you think of a typical cycle of reactive thoughts, it might go like this:

1. Something happens
2. Your body responds: tension, rapid heart rate, faster breathing
3. You might have thoughts like, “This is unbelievable!” / “How could they do this?” / “This isn't fair!”
4. You feel angry, frustrated, rejected, humiliated, afraid, etc.
5. If you’re trying to stop or deny the emotion, you might speak to yourself in reprimanding ways: “What’s wrong with you?” / “Get ahold of yourself!”—which doesn’t work
6. Your body responds with more tension and stress hormones
7. You act out physically or have an emotional outburst

To gently interrupt this cycle, you initiate Name It to Tame It right after you notice your body’s first response. It might look like this:

1. You notice what your body is telling you: that you’re feeling angry, afraid, sad, etc.—and you take a deep, slow breath in
2. You recognize the fact that this situation is upsetting you—without reprimanding yourself—and you slowly exhale
3. You honestly name what you’re feeling: e.g., “anger, anger, anger” or “fear, fear, fear”—and you take a deep, slow breath in
4. Your notice your body slowly calming itself—and you exhale
5. You keep naming and breathing until you feel your body regulating

Naming the emotions creates a kind of healthy distance between you and the reaction. You recognize an important truth: you’re experiencing an emotion, but you aren’t caught up in or controlled by it.

"Name It to Tame It: Label Your Emotions to Overcome Negative Thoughts," by Mindfulness.com. Accessed on April 4, 2023