we do not listen to understand

Think about it, the word listen and the word silent are spelled with the same letters.

In order to be a good listener, we first need to learn how to be silent.

That includes, not thinking about how you’re going to reply when another person is talking.

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply,” Stephen Covey.

Even though you might have a lot to say, sometimes it’s best not to respond.

In silence, without distractions, that’s when people feel respected and appreciated.

Emily Rice

"Listen to Understand not to Reply," Norhart Blog. January 18, 2019

a clear path to a lesser goal

“We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.” ― Robert Brault

Growth requires you to lose something. 

 

Like a crab shedding its previous shell, growth requires letting go of a past version of yourself so that you can grow into something bigger and better. It requires letting go of past goals and past dreams. It may require changing your mind or admitting you were wrong...

How to Let Go of Lesser Goals... Ask...  

What do I want so much that I’d be willing to give up what I have right now for it? Gaining the courage to invest in a future version of yourself becomes easier when you identify something you want even more than what you have now. 

Greg McKeown

"How to Let Go of Lesser Goals," 1 Minute Wednesdays. October 19, 2022

doing a helluva job

My officers knew that they could always use me in their leadership toolkits. They never hesitated to knock on my door and say, "Hey, Captain, next time you're out walking around the ship, Sonarman Smith really aced that databank," or "Seaman Jones is doing a helluva job in the laundry. Could you stop by and tell him how much you appreciate him?"

Those conversations were the highlight of my day, and they didn't cost me or the Navy a dime. The more I went around meeting sailors, the more they talked to me openly and intelligently. The more I thanked them for hard work, the harder they worked. The payoff in morale was palpable. I'm absolutely convinced that positive, personal reinforcement is the essence of effective leadership. Yet some leaders seem to be moving away from it. They stay connected electronically with e-mail and cell phones, but they're disconnected personally, and many leaders almost never leave their offices. People seem to think that if you send somebody a compliment online, it's as good as the human touch. It is not. It's easier, but much less effective. Social interaction is getting lost in a digital world that trades more in abstractions than in face-to-face relations. It's more than a shame - it's a bottom-line mistake.

As I have said before, my sister Connie works for a major bank. One of her people did a phenomenal job, making hundreds of thousands of dollars for the bank, and Connie's boss sent an e-mail congratulating and thanking her. That very afternoon, he rode the elevator with her and didn't even acknowledge her existence. It completely wiped out any good his e-mail could have done.

Recall how you feel when your own boss tells you, "Good job." Do your people (and yourself) a favor. Say it in person, if you can. Press the flesh. Open yourself. Coldness congeals. Warmth heals. Little things make big successes.

D. Michael Abrashoff

It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.143,144

if that's respect, then I want none of it

I wish I could say that the need to improve listening skills and less-than-perfect coordination happened only in the past. But the tragic sinking of a Japanese fishing boat off Honolulu by the submarine USS Greenville suggests otherwise. The moment I heard about it, I was reminded that, as is often the case with accidents, someone senses possible danger but doesn't necessarily speak up. As the Greenville investigation unfolded, I read in a New York Times article that the submarine's crew "respected the commanding officer too much to question his judgement." If that's respect, then I want none of it. You need to have people in your organization that can tap you on your shoulder and say, "Is this the best way?" or "Slow down," or "Think about this," or "Is what we are doing worth killing or injuring somebody?"

D. Michael Abrashoff

It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.91,92

how free was free?

When I took command of Benfold, I realized that no one, including me, is capable of making every decision. I would have to train my people to think and make judgments on their own. Empowering means defining the parameters in which people are allowed to operate, and then setting them free.

But how free was free? What were the limits? 

I chose my line in the sand. Whenever the consequences of a decision had the potential to kill or injure someone, waste taxpayers' money, or damage the ship, I had to be consulted. Short of those contingencies, the crew was authorized to make their own decisions. Even if the decisions were wrong, I would stand by my crew. Hopefully, they would learn from their mistakes. And the more responsibility they were given, the more they learned.

D. Michael Abrashoff

It's Your Ship: Management Techniques from the Best Damn Ship in the Navy by D. Michael Abrashoff. Grand Central Publishing. 2007. p.29,30