Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
Dale Carnegie
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.131
Like plenty of other things in our lives, part of our aversion to uncertainty comes from our fear of being judged by others. We are, in a very real way, afraid of what the tribe thinks and the prospect of being thrown out into the mystery and uncertainty of the wild.
If we put ourselves in uncomfortable situations, maybe we’ll
look awkward. People will think we’re “weird.” If we push out limits and try to
achieve new things, maybe we’ll fail. People will think we’re a “failure.”
“If you want to improve, be content
to be thought foolish and stupid.” – Epictetus
You’re never going to achieve your true potential if you’re
hooked by what other people think. In fact, you could change your life
overnight if you simply abandoned the notion that other people’s opinions
matter. Life goes on, opinion-heavy or opinion-lite.
Gary John Bishop
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.108, 109
Give some thought to all the people who have achieved something great, only to quickly fade into obscurity. I’m sure you can think of a few, whether they’re entertainers or business people or athletes.
In my career I’ve coached many “successful” people who came to me because their lives had gone flat, and they had become uninspired and tepid. What happened? For many of them, they got comfortable. For years, they had pushed their comfort zones to get where they wanted to be. But as soon as they chose certainty over uncertainty, they stopped achieving. They hit the wall.
Why does it happen? Because when you’ve accomplished one of your goals, when you’re rich and successful, the future naturally seems a little more certain. I’m sure we’d all feel a little more secure with a million bucks or so in the bank.
But that mindset shift is exactly what creates the environment for our ultimate undoing. When we’re no longer uncertain about money, the desire – the need even – to pursue it recedes. When we’re no longer uncertain about success, our ambition can blunt or mellow. We get to wallow in our bloated illusion of certainty. Eventually we get to do that thing called “settle.” We settle for certainty.
That’s the kind of power that uncertainty has in our lives. It can make us or break us. It can make us rich or make us poor. It can be the key to our success or drive us in the other direction.
For many people, it ends up being both.
The funny thing is, no matter how much you chase certainty, you’ll never really be able to hold it or retain it. That’s because it doesn’t exist. The universe will always send us little reminders of its chaos and power, and no one is exempt from the prompting.
Nothing is certain. You could go to sleep tonight and never wake up. You could get in your car and never make it to work. Certainty is a complete illusion. Voodoo.
Some of you might find this terrible to think about, but it’s true. No matter how hard we may try, we can never predict exactly what life will bring. Our plans will falter at some point eventually.
By running from uncertainty in search of certainty, we’re actually rejecting the one thing in life that is guaranteed in favor of something that’s nothing more than a fantasy.
“All I know,” Socrates once said, “is that I know nothing.” Many wise people understand this. In fact, they owe their wisdom to that very realization – that they don’t actually know a damn thing.
Because when we think we know everything, we inadvertently turn ourselves away from the unknown and, by default, whole new realms of success. The person who accepts how unpredictable and uncertain life is has no choice but to embrace it.
They’re not afraid of the uncertain; it’s just a part of life. They don’t seek out certainty because they know it doesn’t really exist. They are also the kind of people who are aware of and open to the real magic and miracles of life and what can be accomplished.
Gary John Bishop
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.103-106
“I got this…”
You can handle this. It’s not going to kill you. Your life isn’t over. You’ve got plenty more left in the tank. Plenty.
“I got this” doesn’t mean you have the perfect solution. It just means you have your hands on the wheel, you have a say in this just like you’ve had a say all along. I mean come on, you live for this shit!
It’s not always pretty. It’s not always fun but you’ve got this. We’re not just saying this to paper over the cracks or to make you feel a little better for a split second. Look at your track record; you’ve really got this! You’ll make it work, just like you always have. You had it then and you got it now…
I got this. I got this. I got this.
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.91
Think about it. What are the problems, those heinous, dark shadows currently spoiling the warmth and happiness of your otherwise blissful life?
Do you hate your job? Are you in a bad relationship? Is there something wrong with your health? Fine, get a new job. End the relationship. Change your diet and exercise or locate the kind of help you need. Seems simple doesn’t it? Even when it comes to the things you seemingly had no say in, like the death of a loved one or losing your business, you have a MASSIVE say in the ways you live your life in the aftermath of those events.
If you’re not willing to take the actions to change your situation – in other words, if you’re willing to put up with your situation – then whether you like it or not, that is the life you have chosen.
Before you think “but…” or start to get your knickers in a twist… let me say one more thing: By defending your circumstances as they are right now, you are actually making a case for being where you are. Give it up.
Gary John Bishop
Unfu*k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life by Gary John Bishop. Harper One. 2017. p.29,30
