a formula for self-worth

In Robert S. McGee’s The Search for Significance, we learn that if the devil had a formula for self-worth that he would want you to buy into, it would be: Your self-worth is equal to your performance plus the opinion of others. If you’re constantly looking to make yourself feel good or worthwhile based on your performance or the opinions of others, you’re constantly going to be chasing an elusive, frustrating fantasy.


Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges.

The Servant Leader: Transforming You Heart, Head, Hands & Habits. J.Countryman. 2003. 

to be hopeful

To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness.

What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.

And if we do act, in however small a way, we don’t have to wait for some grand Utopian future. The future is an infinite succession of presents, and to live now as we think human beings should live, in defiance of all that is bad around us, is itself a marvelous victory.

Howard Zinn

A People’s History of American Empire. Henry Holt & Co. 2008

look for reasons to criticize

There is no end to the creativity, ingenuity, and tenacity of those who look for reasons to criticize. They cannot seem to release their grip on grudges. They gossip and find fault with others. They nurse wounds for decades, taking every opportunity to tear down and demean others....

We have a choice. We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can make peace and work to extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find.

Dieter F. Uchtdorf

"Looking for the Good" Liahona. March 2011

we need the eggs

Lorne [Michaels] has an indirect and very effective way of dealing with the crazies. It is best described by the old joke that most people know from Annie Hall. A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, “My brother’s gone crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” And the psychiatrist says, “Have you told him he’s not a chicken?” The man replies, “I would, but we need the eggs.” Lorne knows that the most exhausting people occasionally turn out the best stuff.

Tina Fey

Bossypants. Reagan Arthur Books. 2011.

a window which needs cleaning

A young couple, Lisa and John, moved into a new neighborhood. One morning while they were eating breakfast, Lisa looked out the window and watched her next-door neighbor hanging out her wash.

“That laundry’s not clean!” Lisa exclaimed. “Our neighbor doesn’t know how to get clothes clean!”

John looked on but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, Lisa would make the same comments.

A few weeks later Lisa was surprised to glance out her window and see a nice, clean wash hanging in her neighbor’s yard. She said to her husband, “Look, John—she’s finally learned how to wash correctly! I wonder how she did it.”

John replied, “Well, dear, I have the answer for you. You’ll be interested to know that I got up early this morning and washed our windows!”

...Are we looking through a window which needs cleaning? Are we making judgments when we don’t have all the facts? What do we see when we look at others? What judgments do we make about them?

Thomas S. Monson

"Charity Never Faileth" General Conference. October 2010