effective anger

In Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, Carol Tavris notes that in order for the expression of anger to be effective, four criteria must be met: 

1. the anger must be directed at the target of your anger
2. the expression of anger must restore your sense of control over the situation and your sense of justice; it must inflict appropriate harm on the other person
3. the expression of anger must change the behavior of the target or give you new insights
4. you and your target must speak the same anger language.

Anne Kreamer

It’s Always Personal: Navigating Emotion in the New Workplace. 2011. Random House.