situation, behavior, impact

The Center for Creative Leadership developed a technique called Situation, Behavior, Impact that ensures guidance is humble rather than judgmental. The idea is simple. It forces you to describe what you saw a person do and what impact you saw as a result. This prevents you from passing judgments or making assertions that seem arrogant or fall prey to the “fundamental attribution error.”

Instead of yelling, “You a$$&0!e” when somebody grabs your parking space, you say, “I’ve been waiting for that spot here for five minutes, and you just zipped in front of me and took it. Now I’m going to be late.”

If you say this, you give the person a chance to say, “Oh, I’m sorry I didn’t realize, let me move.” (Of course, the person might also just flip you off or say, “Tough s&!t.” Then you can yell with more justification, “You a$$&0!e!”)

Here’s how to do this at work. Describe the situation, the person’s behavior, and the impact the behavior had. All those descriptions don’t have to add up to a novel. They just provide the specifics of what actually happened. In other words, don’t just say, “You’re aggressive.” Better to say, “In the meeting we just had when you and Zan got in an argument (situation), putting your face three inches from Zan’s and yelling ‘F*#& You’ (behavior) was too aggressive.” Here you are describing the situation and the behavior, but you didn’t describe the impact.

Best to say, “In the meeting we just had when you and Zan got in an argument (situation), putting your face three inches from Zan’s and yelling ‘F*#& You’ (behavior) could result in his bringing a lawsuit against the company for allowing a hostile work environment (impact).”

Situation, behavior, impact applies to praise as well as to criticism. Praise can feel just as arrogant as criticism. A great way to offer praise that is helpful is to share the situation, the behavior, and the impact so that it’s clear why the work was important. I often bristle at praise because it sounds insincere or patronizing or somehow belittling.

When somebody says to me, “I’m so proud of you!” I think, “Who are you to be proud of me?” I’d rather hear, “In the presentation you just gave (situation), I think what you said about A, B, C (behavior) was a persuasive because x, y, z (impact).” It’s the fear of sounding arrogant that sometimes makes me hesitate to give praise to people properly. Using situation, behavior, impact helps.

Kim Scott

"How to give humble feedback," by Kim Scott. Radical Candor. Accessed August 17, 2022

sincere words of praise

Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise.

They're absolutely free and worth a fortune

Sam Walton

Sam Walton: Made in America. Bantam Books. 1993. p.315. As found in 2022 Great Quotes From Great Leaders Boxed Calendar: 365 Inspirational Quotes From Leaders Who Shaped the World.

their full share of credit

There are many men in this world who have been over-estimated all the days of their lives, and others who have never had their full share of credit.

Heber J. Grant

Gospel Standards, p.186

be energizing, not energetic

Here is the paradox: You can actually speed things up by slowing down. There is no doubt that being energetic is contagious and therefore a short-term source of momentum. But if you lead by example all the time, your batteries will eventually run dry. You risk being drained at the vey point when your leadership is needed the most. Conveying a sense of urgency is useful, but an excess of urgency suffocates team development and reflection at the very point it is needed. “Code red” should be left for real emergencies... with [a] co-drive mindset, [we need] to widen [our] sights and recognize and reward people who are good at energizing others. Energizing behavior is unselfish, generous, and praises, not just progress, but personality too.

If you lead by beating the drum, setting tight deadlines, and burning the midnight oil, your team becomes overly dependent on your presence. Sustainable speed is achievable only if the team propels itself without your presence. Jim Collins wrote that great leaders don’t waste time telling time, they build clocks.

Self-propulsion comes from letting go of control, resisting the urge to make detailed corrections and allowing for informal leadership to flourish. As Ron Heifetz advocates, true leadership is realizing that you need to “give the work back” instead of being the hero who sweeps in and solves everybody’s problems.

Resist the urge to take the driver’s seat and allow [yourself] to take the passenger seat instead. Leading from the side-line, not the front line will change [perspectives]. Instead of looking at the road and navigating traffic... monitor how the driver is actually doing and what needs to improve. In [your] mind...fire [yourself] — momentarily — and see what happens to [the] team when [they are set] free, [taking] charge instead of looking to [leaders] for answers, deadlines and decisions.

Merete Wedell-Wedellsborg

"Help Your Team Do More Without Burning Out" Harvard Business Review. Oct. 15, 2018

humble, unassuming people

The research is clear: when we choose humble, unassuming people as our leaders, the world around us becomes a better place.

Humble leaders improve the performance of a company in the long run because they create more collaborative environments. They have a balanced view of themselves – both their virtues and shortcomings – and a strong appreciation of others’ strengths and contributions, while being open to new ideas and feedback. These “unsung heroes” help their believers to build their self-esteem, go beyond their expectations, and create a community that channels individual efforts into an organized group that works for the good of the collective.

For example, one study examined 105 small-to-medium-sized companies in the computer software and hardware industry in the United Studies. The findings revealed that when a humble CEO is at the helm of a firm, its top management team is more likely to collaborate and share information, making the most of the firm’s talent.

Another study showed that a leader’s humility can be contagious: when leaders behave humbly, followers emulate their modest attitude and behavior. A study of 161 teams found that employees following humble leaders were themselves more likely to admit their mistakes and limitations, share the spotlight by deflecting praise to others, and be open to new ideas, advice, and feedback.

Margarita Mayo

"If Humble People Make the Best Leaders, Why Do We Fall for Charismatic Narcissists?" Harvard Business Review. April 7, 2017

Bono’s leadership playbook

Bono (No. 14, World’s Greatest Leaders) finds a potential ally in the crowd. It’s young Barbara Bush, the daughter of former President George W. Bush and granddaughter of the first President Bush, whom Bono wickedly prank-called from U2’s Zoo Tour concert stage in the early 1990s. All is forgiven. “I saw your sister last week, swollen with child,” he says to Barbara Bush, talking about her twin, Jenna Bush Hager. “Absolutely beautiful she was!” Then he leans in for the drop. “You know, I do want to call your dad,” he says. “I have for about a week.” The world is now on track to eliminate the AIDS epidemic by 2030. Had she heard? “Your father, he was part of this,” Bono says, referring to the creation of Pepfar (President’s Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief) in 2003, the legislation that has earmarked some $60 billion in the fight against AIDS to date. It remains the largest financial commitment of any country to combat a single infectious disease. It had bipartisan support. Its passage brought global attention to an illness that was on its way to becoming a deadly, uncontrollable pandemic. Says Bono: “I don’t think the American people understand how many lives they’ve saved.” Later he reformulates the message, spinning it into a clever political tagline: “If you’re a taxpayer, you’re an AIDS activist.”

The line reflects a classic scrimmage call from Bono’s leadership playbook: One, spread the credit liberally for every success. Two, remind people that they are essential to the mission. Three, ask for more. Repeat steps one through three.

Ellen McGirt
"Bono: I Will Follow" Fortune. 4/1/2016

give deserved praise

We ought to give deserved praise, even if it is not reciprocated. Remember the story of General Robert E. Lee? He was asked for and gave his high opinion of a certain man. Someone apparently observed that that was not how that person felt about General Lee. General Lee reportedly replied, "But you asked me for my opinion of him." Commending communications ought to flow from us without too much concern with "the balance of trade."


Neal A. Maxwell

All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience. Deseret Book, 1979.

from success to significance

Too many leaders today focus only on success. They think success depends only on how much wealth they have accumulated, the amount of recognition they have received, and their power and status. Nothing is inherently wrong with any of those things, as long as you don’t identify those things as who you are. As an alternative, we’d like you to focus on the opposite of each of those as you move from success to significance. What’s the opposite of accumulating wealth? It’s generosity of time, talent, treasure, and touch (reaching out to support others). What’s the opposite of recognition? It’s service. What’s the opposite of power and status? It’s loving relationships.

Ken Blanchard

Leading at a Higher Level. 2010

“reflect credit” and “absorb blame"

Irv Grousbeck, a legendary Stanford professor of management, encourages would-be entrepreneurs to “reflect credit” and “absorb blame.”

People are smart. They spot phonies. Managers who step into the klieg lights when things go well — and duck behind the curtains when they don’t — are risking their employees’ trust, and asking for politics.

Joel Peterson, Professor of Management at Stanford Graduate School of Business.

In A Great Business, People Trump Things. Forbes Magazine. 10/17/2012

good leaders motivate

Good leaders motivate people in a variety of ways. First, they always articulate the organization's vision in a manner that stresses the values of the audience they are addressing. This makes the work important to those individuals. Leaders also regularly involve people in deciding how to achieve the organization's vision (or the part most relevant to a particular individual). This gives people a sense of control. Another important motivational technique is to support employee efforts to realize the vision by providing coaching, feedback, and role modeling, thereby helping people grow professionally and enhancing their self-esteem. Finally, good leaders recognize and reward success, which not only gives people a sense of accomplishment but also makes them feel like they belong to an organization that cares about them. When all this is done, the work itself becomes intrinsically motivating.

John P. Kotter

"What Leaders Really Do.” Harvard Business Review. 1990.

many hands and hearts and minds

It seems to me shallow and arrogant for any person in these times to claim they are completely self-made, that they owe all their success to their own unaided efforts. Many hands and hearts and minds generally contribute to anyone’s notable achievements.

Walt Disney

As quoted in "The One Attribute All ‘Servant Leaders’ Have In Common" by Dan Veitkus. CEO.com. 8/28/2014

the art of the critique

Harry Levinson, a psychoanalyst turned corporate consultant, gives the following advice on the art of the critique, which is intricately entwined with the art of praise:

• Be specific. Pick a significant incident, an event that illustrates a key problem that needs changing or a pattern of deficiency, such as the inability to do certain parts of a job well. It demoralizes people just to hear that they are doing “something” wrong without knowing what the specifics are so they can change. Focus on the specifics, saying what the person did well, what was done poorly, and how it could be changed. Don’t beat around the bush or be oblique or evasive; it will muddy the real message. This, of course, is akin to the advice to couples about the “XYZ” statement of a grievance: say exactly what the problem is, what’s wrong with it or how it makes you feel, and what could be changed.  “Specificity,” Levinson points out, “is just as important for praise as for criticism. I won’t say that vague praise has no effect at all, but it doesn’t have much, and you can’t learn from it.”
• Offer a solution. The critique, like all useful feedback, should point to a way to fix the problem. Otherwise it leaves the recipient frustrated, demoralized, or demotivated. The critique may open the door to possibilities and alternatives that the person did not realize were there, or simply sensitize her to deficiencies that need attention – but should include suggestions about how to take care of these problems.
• Be present. Critiques, like praise, are most effective face to face and in private. People who are uncomfortable giving a criticism – or offering praise – are likely to ease the burden on themselves by doing it at a distance, such as in a memo. But this makes the communication too impersonal, and robs the person receiving it of an opportunity for a response or clarification.
• Be sensitive. This is a call for empathy, for being attuned to the impact of what you say and how you say it on the person at the receiving end. Managers who have little empathy, Levinson points out, are most prone to giving feedback in a hurtful fashion, such as the withering put-down. The net effect of such criticism is destructive: instead of opening the way for a corrective, it creates an emotional backlash of resentment, bitterness, defensiveness, and distance.

Daniel Goleman

Emotional Intelligence. Random House LLC, 2006. 358 pages, p.153, 154

servant-leaders exercise the following traits

Servant-leaders exercise the following traits and practices in their roles. They:

• Understand the value of every human soul.
• Have an inborn or developed sense of caring for others.
• Are quick to volunteer to take pressure off someone else.
• Rush to the aid of someone who is going through an embarrassing or humiliating experience.
• Treat all people on a basis of equality.
• Do not feel that tasks they expect others to do are too demeaning for themselves.
• Are not offended by disruptions of people who are themselves going through emotional traumas or stress.
• Expect more from themselves than they do from anyone else.
• Are quick to compliment, give credit, and build up those who perform a given task.
• Judge people by their potential, not necessarily by one single negative experience.
• Do not take credit for someone else’s achievements and love to share credit for any of their own accomplishments.
• Get the facts before finding fault or criticizing another person.
• Help all people feel they had a real part in the success of a project.
• Detest practical jokes or statements that focus humiliation or attention on one soul.
• Always constructively criticize in private and compliment in public.
• Are absolutely honest in their work.
• Are equally fair with all under their direction.
• Are always willing to listen to both sides of a quarrel, discussion, or issue. They know it is a pretty thin pancake that has only one side. . . .
• Make themselves accessible to all, not just those with position or power.

True servant-leaders do not need a checklist of these character traits, for they live them daily. . . .

Vaughn J. Featherstone

The Incomparable Christ: Our Master and Model (1995)

As quoted in Principles of Leadership Teacher's Manual. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Salt Lake City. 2001

reasons why change efforts typically fail

1. People leading the change think that announcing the change is the same as implementing it.

2. People’s concerns with change are not surfaced or addressed.

3. Those being asked to change are not involved in planning the change.

4. There is no compelling reason to change. The business case is not communicated.

5. A compelling vision that excites people about the future has not been developed and communicated.

6. The change leadership team does not include early adopters, resisters, or informal leaders.

7. The change is not piloted, so the organization does not learn what is needed to support the change.

8. Organizational systems and other initiatives are not aligned with the change.

9. Leaders lose focus or fail to prioritize, causing “death by 1,000 initiatives.”

10. People are not enabled or encouraged to build new skills.

11. Those leading the change are not credible. They undercommunicate, give mixed messages, and do not model the behaviors the change requires.

12. Progress is not measured, and/or no one recognizes the changes that people have worked hard to make.

13. People are not held accountable for implementing the change.

14. People leading the change fail to respect the power of the culture to kill the change.

15. Possibilities and options are not explored before a specific change is chose.

When most people see this list, their reaction depends on whether they have usually been the target of change or the change agent. Targets of change frequently feel as though we have been studying their organization for years, because they have seen these reasons why change fails in action, up close and personal. The reality is that while every organization is unique in some ways, they often struggle with change for the same reasons.

When change agents look at this list, they get discouraged, because they realize how complicated implementing change can be and how many different things can go wrong. Where should they start? Which of the fifteen reasons why change fails should they concentrate on?

Over the years it has been our experience that if leaders can understand and overcome the first three reasons why change typically fails, they are on the road to being effective leaders of change.

Ken Blanchard

Leading at a Higher Level: Blanchard on Leadership and Creating High Performing Organizations. FT Press. 2010.

respect behaviors

10 things that make people feel disrespected:

1. Looking at computer screens and cell phones during conversations.
2. Outburst of anger.
3. Cursing and slang.
4. One sided conversations. Not listening.
5. Wasting people’s time.
6. Asking people to re-do work, even though clear instructions weren’t given up front.
7. Not following up.
8. Not showing up for meetings.
9. Aggressiveness.
10. Lies.

7 ways to show respect:

1. Speak to aspirations.
2. Talk more about strengths than weaknesses.
3. Ask, “What do you think?”
4. Take time to ponder suggestions.
5. Focus on issues not personalities during disagreements.
6. Say please and thank you.
7. Feeling understood.

Dan Rockwell

"The Leadership Behavior Most Employees Want." Leadership Freak. 8/11/2015