your presence isn't really about you

So let's talk about Taylor Swift and the Super Bowl...

Swift was there, of course. For a while things looked tough for the Chiefs, until they won the game on a last-second touchdown pass in overtime.

Afterward, Swift made her way down to the field, where she reunited with Kelce....

I was curious what they would say to each other... But I also realized that it doesn't matter. What mattered much more is the fact that Swift was there.

Remember, in the days before the Super Bowl, one of the storylines was whether Swift would be able to make it to Las Vegas from Tokyo, where she had a concert Saturday evening, in time for the game...

The trip required Swift to leave immediately after her concert and fly for about 12 hours to Los Angeles, before a one-night stopover and then another hour flight to Las Vegas on Sunday. 

Obviously, Swift wasn't flying in the middle seat on a commercial flight, but it still took a significant effort. And, that effort is a statement...

Sometimes the thing that matters most is that you show up and support the people you care about when they're facing a challenge. 

So, you go to their games and performances. You applaud, you cheer; if they come up short, you're there for them.

You sit in on their presentations, if you're allowed; if not, you make sure to reach out to them and offer encouragement beforehand.

You stand by them in their hours of need. When they've fallen short at something, you tell them you still think they're great, and you believe in them, and they'll do better next time.

When they're sick or they have suffered a loss, you visit them in the hospital; you go to the funeral. 

You understand that your presence isn't really about you; it's about the other person. That's part of why you don't have to say very much sometimes, because being there speaks volumes. 

But if you're not there, you understand as a leader that the opposite is true, too: Your absence would speak volumes. 

Bill Murphy Jr.

"With Literally Zero Words, Taylor Swift Just Taught a Crucial Lesson in Leadership," Inc. Feb 12, 2024

life is not a treadmill, it's a garden

Life is not a treadmill. It's a garden. One to be created and nurtured and enjoyed, and, like all gardens, it's sometimes work and effort, too, but if you cannot bring yourself to love the work, you'll never truly love the garden.

Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself 2023 Day-to-Day Calendar: Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. August 11

we do not listen to understand

Think about it, the word listen and the word silent are spelled with the same letters.

In order to be a good listener, we first need to learn how to be silent.

That includes, not thinking about how you’re going to reply when another person is talking.

“The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply,” Stephen Covey.

Even though you might have a lot to say, sometimes it’s best not to respond.

In silence, without distractions, that’s when people feel respected and appreciated.

Emily Rice

"Listen to Understand not to Reply," Norhart Blog. January 18, 2019

having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay

When I started working at Wal-Mart in West Texas, we would anticipate a store visit by the chairman with the same sense you get when you're going to meet a great athlete, or a movie star, or a head of state. But once he comes in the store, that feeling of awe is overcome by a sort of kinship. He is a master at erasing that 'larger-than-life' feeling that people have for him. How many heads of state always start the conversation by wanting to know what you think? What's on your mind?

After a visit, everyone in the store has no doubt that he genuinely appreciates our contributions, no matter how insignificant. Every associate feels like he or she does make a difference. It's almost like having your oldest friend come just to see if you're okay. He never lets us down.

Andy Sims, Manager, Wal-Mart No. 1, Rogers, Arkansas

Sam Walton, Made in America by Sam Walton & John Huey. Bantam Books. 1992. p. 140, 141

you're already out of the box

When you're feeling that you want to be out of the box for someone, in that moment you're already out. You're feeling that way because you're now seeing him or her as a person. In feeling that way toward that person, you're already out of the box.

Leadership and Self-deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute. Berrett-Koehler. 2002. p.127

recognition and appreciation

Recognition and appreciation. We often use these words interchangeably, and think of them as the same thing. But while they’re both important, there’s a big difference between them. For leaders who want their teams to thrive and organizations that want to create cultures of engagement, loyalty, and high performance, it’s important to understand the distinction...

Appreciation, on the other hand, is about acknowledging a person’s inherent value. The point isn’t their accomplishments. It’s their worth as a colleague and a human being.

In simple terms, recognition is about what people do; appreciation is about who they are...

Great leaders have to successfully focus on and cultivate both appreciation and recognition. And all of us benefit from understanding this distinction in business (and in life). Recognition is appropriate and necessary when it’s earned and deserved. Appreciation, however, is important all the time.

Mike Robbins

"Why Employees Need Both Recognition and Appreciation" Harvard Business Review. November 12, 2019

humble, unassuming people

The research is clear: when we choose humble, unassuming people as our leaders, the world around us becomes a better place.

Humble leaders improve the performance of a company in the long run because they create more collaborative environments. They have a balanced view of themselves – both their virtues and shortcomings – and a strong appreciation of others’ strengths and contributions, while being open to new ideas and feedback. These “unsung heroes” help their believers to build their self-esteem, go beyond their expectations, and create a community that channels individual efforts into an organized group that works for the good of the collective.

For example, one study examined 105 small-to-medium-sized companies in the computer software and hardware industry in the United Studies. The findings revealed that when a humble CEO is at the helm of a firm, its top management team is more likely to collaborate and share information, making the most of the firm’s talent.

Another study showed that a leader’s humility can be contagious: when leaders behave humbly, followers emulate their modest attitude and behavior. A study of 161 teams found that employees following humble leaders were themselves more likely to admit their mistakes and limitations, share the spotlight by deflecting praise to others, and be open to new ideas, advice, and feedback.

Margarita Mayo

"If Humble People Make the Best Leaders, Why Do We Fall for Charismatic Narcissists?" Harvard Business Review. April 7, 2017