after reading over 200 self-improvement books

After reading over 200 self-improvement books over the past thirty years I have determined all self-improvement and success come down to five keystone lessons that all other principles rest upon.

1. Mindset determines your success.
2. Goals create the map to your success.
3. Modeling shows what leads to success. 
4. Systems create the path to your success. 
5. Perseverance makes you successful.

...To succeed in life, you must develop a positive and growth-oriented mindset that allows you to overcome challenges and learn from your mistakes. You should set realistic and achievable goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. You must create a system of processes, routines, and habits that help you consistently and efficiently move closer to achieving your goals. Finally, you must cultivate the habit of perseverance, which enables you to keep going even when things get tough and never give up on your goals. This is what 200 self-help books will teach you.

Steve Burns

I Read 200 Self-Improvement Books To Learn These 5 Lessons. New Trader U. March 12, 2023. 

slow is smooth and smooth is fast

SEALs train with the philosophy slow is smooth and smooth is fast. That’s how movements and behaviors become muscle memory – something imperative in high-speed combat situations. When we are on an enemy target, we move smoothly and dynamically assessing risk and using speed and violence of action only when necessary.

Organizational change fails when companies move too quickly...  skipping fundamental elements such as aligned vision and culture. They run to their death and the change process eventually stalls.

Brent Gleeson

"9 Navy SEAL Sayings That Will Improve Your Organization's Ability To Lead Change," Forbes. July 23, 2018

these little minute things

I am always for the consideration of these little minute things that concern us to-day. We should always be engaged in doing the things that belong to to-day. There is but one course that you and I can pursue and be right, and that is, to be sufficiently humble to look at the most minute fibers. The large roots of a tree receive their nourishment through the little fibers, and they receive it from the fountain; and then that nourishment is sent through the mains trunk of the tree into the limbs, branches, and twigs. 

Heber C. Kimball

Journal of Discourses, Vol.8, p.328

response-ability

Accountability breeds response-ability. Commitment and involvement produce change. In training executives, we use a step-by-step, natural, progressive, sequential approach to change. In fact, we encourage executives to set goals and make commitments up front; teach and apply the material regularly; and report their progress to each other. 

If you want to overcome the pull of the past - those powerful restraining forces of habit, custom, and culture - to bring about desired change, count the costs and rally the necessary resources. In the space program, we see that tremendous thrust is needed to clear the powerful pull of the earth's gravity. So it is with breaking old habits.

Breaking deeply embedded habits - such as procrastinating, criticizing, overeating, or oversleeping - involves more than a little wishing and willpower. Often our own resolve is not enough. We need reinforcing relationships - people and programs that hold us accountable and responsible. 

Remember: Response-ability is the ability to choose our response to any circumstance or condition. When we are response-able, our commitment becomes more powerful than our moods or circumstances, and we keep the promises and resolutions we make. 

Stephen R. Covey

Principle-Centered Leadership. 2009/ RosettaBooks. 

listen all the time

Listening to what other people say is the most important skill for a leader to develop

That's especially true if you're trying to change your habits.

Here's Marshall Goldsmith:

"The only difference between us and the super-successful among us — the near-great and the great — is that the great ones  [listen] all the time. It's automatic for them. For them there's no on and off switch for caring and empathy and showing respect. It's always on. They don't rank personal encounters as A, B, or C in importance. They treat everyone equally — and everyone eventually notices."

Shana Lebowitz 

"5 insights from a classic leadership book by an executive coach who's helped over 150 CEOs" Business Insider.  Aug 26, 2016

habits = 40% of all actions

One paper published by a Duke University researcher in 2006 found that more than 40 percent of the actions people performed each day weren’t actual decisions, but habits.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg. Random House. 2012.

years of effort

One of the biggest New Year's resolutions clichés involves someone saying they'll start going to the gym three times a week, attacking the goal passionately at first, and then fizzling out by mid-February.

According to [Jocko] Willink's explanation, the reason why such a resolution is so easily broken is that it's isolated and flexible. The alternative is to incorporate a level of discipline into your entire life, shifting your mindset and adjusting routines as necessary.

So instead of saying that for 2018 you'll go to the gym three times each week, set aside some gym clothes tonight, wake up 30 minutes earlier than usual tomorrow, and exercise. Keep forcing yourself to do that every morning, not three out of seven, and don't worry about annual goals at first.

"Getting stronger, healthier, smarter, wealthier — getting better — none of these things happen from a mere one day of effort," Willink said. They all takes weeks, months, and years of effort for results to show."

Richard Feloni

"A retired Navy SEAL commander explains exactly why people don't stick to their New Year's resolutions — and how you can do better" Business Insider. January 2, 2018.

habitual exercise

When people start habitually exercising, even as infrequently as once a week, they start changing other, unrelated patterns in their lives, often unknowingly. Typically, people who exercise start eating better and becoming more productive at work. They smoke less and show more patience with colleagues and family. They use their credit cards less frequently and say they feel less stressed. It’s not completely clear why. But for many people, exercise is a keystone habit that triggers widespread change. “Exercise spills over,” said James Prochaska, a University of Rhode Island researcher. “There’s something about it that makes other good habits easier.”

Charles Duhigg

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Random House. 2012.

understanding habits

"Understanding habits is the most important thing I’ve learned in the army,” the major told me. “It’s changed everything about how I see the world. You want to fall asleep fast and wake up feeling good? Pay attention to your nighttime patterns and what you automatically do when you get up. You want to make running easy? Create triggers to make it a routine. I drill my kids on this stuff. My wife and I write out habit plans for our marriage. This is all we talk about in command meetings. Not one person in Kufa would have told me that we could influence crowds by taking away the kebab stands, but once you see everything as a bunch of habits, it’s like someone gave you a flashlight and a crowbar and you can get to work.

Charles Duhigg

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Random House. 2012.

awakened leadership

Awakened leadership is reflective. When you reflect on things, you consider them from multiple angles, and think deeper about them than a superficial thought or two. Your job, position, work relationships, the industry you are involved in, the very purpose of your performance, your private or social connections, the things you say, the things you do, and those you refrain from saying and doing: reflecting on all of the above can help you understand yourself better, and make you more mindful from here onward....

Awakened leadership is the continued awareness in your thoughts, actions, and communications that: 

1. You have to make your decisions by reflecting on your lessons learned from past experiences, but even more by reflection on your wishes for the future and the possible effects these decisions will have on that. 
2. You should consider the perspectives of others, and keep an open mind to potentially different ideas, which as they may enrich your understanding, insight, and consequently, the directions you will choose going forward. 
3. You should question, even doubt, established patterns and procedures, as many of them were created when times, expectations, circumstances, goals, and mindsets, were entirely different. If you find that the old patterns and procedures still suffice, you can continue with them, but if you find that there is room for improvement or drastic change, you should implement that. 
4. You should keep in mind that, while details are important to safeguard quality in everything, you also have to keep the big picture in mind, so that you can focus on what really matters in the long run. 
5. You should make mindful leadership your new habit. Your mind is a wonderful instrument, but it has the tendency to lead you astray at every opportunity it gets. This is the time to step up in awareness and regain control over the directions your mind moves into. 

Restore your priorities in the right order, and realize the impermanence of everything, including yourself. If you can keep yourself mindful of the fact that you want to leave this world a better place than you encountered it, you have set an important step on the path to awakened leadership.

Joan F. Marques

"Awakened Leadership: A behavioral roadmap" HR.com. August 2015

better than a perfect plan

General George S. Patton

When you think about it, all business activity really comes down to two simple things: Making decisions and executing on decisions. Your success depends on your ability to develop speed as a habit in both....

A good plan violently executed now is better than a perfect plan next week.

General George Patton said that, and I definitely subscribe to it. Do you remember the last time you were in a meeting and someone said, “We’re going to make this decision before we leave the room”? How great did that feel? Didn’t you just want to hug that person?

The process of making and remaking decisions wastes an insane amount of time at companies. The key takeaway: WHEN a decision is made is much more important than WHAT decision is made.

If, by way of habit, you consistently begin every decision-making process by considering how much time and effort that decision is worth, who needs to have input, and when you’ll have an answer, you'll have developed the first important muscle for speed.

This isn’t to say all decisions should be made quickly. Some decisions are more complicated or critical than others. It might behoove you to wait for more information. Some decisions can’t be easily reversed or would be too damaging if you choose poorly. Most importantly, some decisions don’t need to be made immediately to maintain downstream velocity.

Deciding on when a decision will be made from the start is a profound, powerful change that will speed everything up. In my many years at Google, I saw Eric Schmidt use this approach to decision-making on a regular basis — probably without even thinking about it. Because founders Larry and Sergey were (and are) very strong-minded leaders involved in every major decision, Eric knew he couldn’t make huge unilateral choices. This could have stalled a lot of things, but Eric made sure that decisions were made on a specific timeframe — a realistic one — but a firm one. He made this a habit for himself and it made a world of difference for Google.


Dave Girouard
"Speed as a Habit." First Round Review. 7/21/2015

champions don't do extraordinary things

“Champions don’t do extraordinary things,” [Coach Tony] Dungy would explain. “They do ordinary things, but they do them without thinking, too fast for the other team to react. They follow the habits they’ve learned.” 

Charles Duhigg

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Random House. 2012.